Gordon Ramsay’s Face Has Finally Melted.

A face you could literally climb.

Earlier this month TV celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay was photographed leaving a Los Angeles surgery complete with medical cap. Of course the tabloid press were sent into a tizzy and it then emerged that the shouty arsehole 44 year-old may have gone through a hair plug operation costing $30,000. Now it seems there may have been a problem with the surgery as Ramsey’s face has become swollen around the eyes and forehead. Could this be related to the alleged hair transplant? Of course not as Gordon himself explained to the Daily Mail, that it’s nothing more than an infection brought on by petrol from gangsters and a horse. Petrol from gangsters and a horse? Yes petrol from gangsters and a horse.

Apparently Baron Munchausen Ramsey was forcibly tied up by Costa Rican gangsters, during the filming of his recent Channel Four documentary which exposed the cruel illegal trade in shark fins, and was doused in petrol which caused major problems for his scalp. Jason Bourne then went on to explain:

‘I was in Napa for Christmas literally two weeks after the shoot and went horseback riding with the kids and had a horrendous allergic reaction to the horse, combined with the problems I had with my scalp – so it was just a hair nightmare.’

This agent of danger leads a life most of us dull and boring folk can only dream of. We’re betting he owns a car he can drive underwater and goes to bed at night dressed in a white tuxedo.