Intense Polis Animation…Polish Animation.

Our intense *Polis animation.

Please ignore the picture above, we misread the information before editing this article which is in fact about an awesome trailer for a Polish animated film full of intensity and fighter planes.

Entitled Paths Of Hate this short film tells the story of two non-specific fighter pilots battling it out through cloud covered skies and over various terrain. As you can see from the trailer below the animation is spectacular and was two years in the making by top Polish studio Platage Image. No word on a release date yet. (via Optimum Wound)

NB. Polis is a Scottish term used to describe men and women of the police force, as is ‘fascist bully boys’. *covers mouth with hand and sniggers like a little school boy*

933 PATHS OF HATE long trailer from Platige Image on Vimeo.

Every Super Bowl Movie Trailer.

In case you didn’t already know our American cousins over the pond staged a subtle low key affair last night, modestly billed as ‘The Greatest Show On Earth‘. Still trying to convince the rest of the world that American Football is the best sport in the history of sport this year’s Super Bowl threw up yet another batch of expensive movie trailers for films coming our way this summer.

There were talking birds, talking lizards, pirates, dinosaurs, gigantic robots, alien monsters, vampires, super heroes, Nazis, Romans, cowboys, an Adam sandler nut shot, (let’s face it kids nothing is funnier than a nut shot, right?), Vin Diesel and Nicolas Cage’s angry hair. Enjoy.

JJ Abrahms & Steven Speilberg’s Super 8

Actually this is the only film out of the bunch below which we are actually looking forward to. Not much is known about the plot to Super 8 but  the La Times managed to sit down with Abrams recently and he had this to say about his latest project:

The Paramount Pictures release is set in Ohio in 1979 and introduces a troupe of six youngsters who are using a Super 8 camera to make their own zombie movie. One fateful night, their project takes them to a lonely stretch of rural railroad tracks and, as the camera rolls, calamity strikes — a truck collides with an oncoming locomotive and a hellacious derailment fills the night with screaming metal and raining fire. Then something emerges from the wreckage, something decidedly inhuman.’

The Steven Speilberg produced TV series Terra Nova

Terra Nova looks like someone crammed The Swiss Family Robinson, Jurassic Park and Avatar into a blender and served it up with a lower budget.

Captain America

This guy loves his country so much he wears a jump suit fashioned out of the star spangled banner.

Transformers 3: Dark Side Of The Moon.

Yet another hyperactive serving of large explosions, massive robots, enormous special effects and some tart pretending she’s Megan Fox.

Battle Los Angeles.

Substitute large robots for aliens and you have pretty much the same film as Transformers 3. Even the soundtrack to each of the trailers is almost exactly the same.

Thor.

Yet another superhero origin story, this time it’s the blonde viking Norse god Thor with his mighty hammer…and Natalie Portman.


Fast Five
The boys are back in town. Diesel and Walker continue their homoerotic love affair on screen in between driving cars and being chased by The Rock.


Priest
Think Blade except more white, religiousy and in the future.


Just Go With It
Adam Sandler and Jennifer Anniston? Just get to fuck!


RIO
This time they’ve made birds talk and act like humans. Isn’t technology wonderful?
Pirates Of The Carribean: On Stranger Tides


Depp returns as Sparrow, some cast members have remained others have not, new ones appear to have filled in the gaps.


Cowboys & Aliens
This time aliens pop up in the Wild West. Hollywood sure is one creative place.


Drive Angry In 3D
Sorry, but we don’t like butter on our popcorn. But then again it’s in 3DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


Rango
The only film along with Super 8 which we would actively seek out to watch. A talking lizard loosely based on Hunter S Thompson? We’re in.

Trailer For The Bridesmaids.

First of all let us just collectively push back our deck chairs for a moment to stand and applaud the sheer originality of the title of this film. Not content at confusing us enough as to what exactly this movie could be about Hollywood have gone and served up a trailer which not only reeks of The Hangover but also tastes somewhat Bachelor Partyesque. But wait there’s a twist. The entire cast, instead of men, are women.

*Deckchairs pushed back quicker than before. Crew rise to give raptious standing ovation*

Produced by Judd Apatow, he who has been clinging for dear life to his Superbad and Knocked Up fame, Bridesmaids tells the story of a collection of wacky, insecure, overweight, under loved, borderline alcoholic female characters, (of which there are no black women), who all embark upon a riotous hen weekend. Three quick tips  for any budding young comedy scriptwriters out there, when writing a road trip style movie, for any gender, always have at least one grotesque, overweight character who has no control over bodily functions or their inappropriate thoughts, always, (can’t stress this one enough), always have a hilarious scene where one of your characters accidentally ingests either a drug or food which has an adverse effect on them and never forget to pepper the entire movie with silent awkward pauses. Comedy gold!

Look it's Roy from The IT Crowd. Look at his wee face.

Avast! Trailer For Ayrton Senna Documentary.

There are only a few events in history where you can remember where you were and what you were doing at that exact moment and the death of Formula One racing driver Ayrton Senna was for us at least one of those moments. Sitting in a house full of people recovering from a hangover from a party the night before, devouring a large fry up we all watched Senna career into the concrete crash barrier during the San Marino Grand Prix in 1994. At first none of us were that concerned for the Brazilian as we had through the years watched him destroy racing cars in the most spectacular fashion, but as time elapsed it was apparent that Senna had taken part in his last race.

The trailer above is for the comprehensive documentary entitled simply Senna about the Formula One driver which charts the life and death of the man as he clashes with authority off the track and dazzles crowds on the track. Stubborn, enigmatic, charitable, (donating millions of his own money to his native Brazil) and at times militant the documentary covers every aspect of Senna’s life. (via Hey U Guys)

Avast! Cage Has Gunfight Sex! (NSFW)

http://www.t5m.com/v/01z13z7wx2qxu0

During a bout of vigorous coitus actor Nicolarse Gage engages not one but three thugs in a seedy motel room, disposing of them individually in a stylistic yet violent manner, without loosing his rhythm or missing a single stroke as he continues to pleasure a large breasted maiden. Yes, this is a very NSFW clip from Gage’s new film Drive Angry which tells the story of Milton a troubled soul who has broken out of hell, (yes, you read that right the first time), and is racing against the clock to stop an evil cult which murdered his daughter and is now about to sacrifice a baby. Joining him on his quest is Amber Heard who plays something or other and various things happen along the way as they’re pursued by some guy and other fartblossom shit!

Drive Angry is released in the UK next month and it’s in 3DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Yep. We feel the same way Nicolarse.

Mullets, Lager, Guns & Techno.

This is a trailer for a Dutch film released at the end of last year called New Kids Turbo based on five characters who feature in a hit television comedy series in Holland called, surprisingly, New Kids. The film basically outlines how these five lager drinking, tracksuit wearing, techno listening wasters, (chavs if you’re in England, neds if you’re in Scotland and rednecks if you’re in America), end up dealing with civil unrest in their home town due to the country’s economic collapse. Apparently they end up arming themselves to the teeth following a visit to a local farmer who also happens to be a survivalist Nazi.

80s band Kajagoogoo reinvent themselves for their big comeback.

Below is the promotional music video by Dutch happy hardcore DJ Paul Elstak, whose music features heavily throughout the film. Guns and pumping techno? What more do you want from a movie?

Avast! The Tapes Trailer.

This week sees the release of a teaser trailer for the British horror flick The Tapes. The plot for this low budget slasher film centres around several video tapes recovered at the scene of a grisly murder, (no, not the killing of a bear). One of which has footage of a weird ritual accidentally filmed by three youths who were taping their Big Brother auditions at the time. The tapes were filmed in February 2008 and the victim’s families…WOAH! Hold on a minute!…’taping their Big Brother auditions at the time‘…Well! We know who we’ll be siding with throughout the course of this movie. (via HeyUGuys)

Two gormless Big Brother hopefuls...who hopefully meet a grisly end...(no, not the genitalia of a bear. Jesus!)