Avast! Cage Has Gunfight Sex! (NSFW)

http://www.t5m.com/v/01z13z7wx2qxu0

During a bout of vigorous coitus actor Nicolarse Gage engages not one but three thugs in a seedy motel room, disposing of them individually in a stylistic yet violent manner, without loosing his rhythm or missing a single stroke as he continues to pleasure a large breasted maiden. Yes, this is a very NSFW clip from Gage’s new film Drive Angry which tells the story of Milton a troubled soul who has broken out of hell, (yes, you read that right the first time), and is racing against the clock to stop an evil cult which murdered his daughter and is now about to sacrifice a baby. Joining him on his quest is Amber Heard who plays something or other and various things happen along the way as they’re pursued by some guy and other fartblossom shit!

Drive Angry is released in the UK next month and it’s in 3DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Yep. We feel the same way Nicolarse.

Mullets, Lager, Guns & Techno.

This is a trailer for a Dutch film released at the end of last year called New Kids Turbo based on five characters who feature in a hit television comedy series in Holland called, surprisingly, New Kids. The film basically outlines how these five lager drinking, tracksuit wearing, techno listening wasters, (chavs if you’re in England, neds if you’re in Scotland and rednecks if you’re in America), end up dealing with civil unrest in their home town due to the country’s economic collapse. Apparently they end up arming themselves to the teeth following a visit to a local farmer who also happens to be a survivalist Nazi.

80s band Kajagoogoo reinvent themselves for their big comeback.

Below is the promotional music video by Dutch happy hardcore DJ Paul Elstak, whose music features heavily throughout the film. Guns and pumping techno? What more do you want from a movie?

Avast! The Tapes Trailer.

This week sees the release of a teaser trailer for the British horror flick The Tapes. The plot for this low budget slasher film centres around several video tapes recovered at the scene of a grisly murder, (no, not the killing of a bear). One of which has footage of a weird ritual accidentally filmed by three youths who were taping their Big Brother auditions at the time. The tapes were filmed in February 2008 and the victim’s families…WOAH! Hold on a minute!…’taping their Big Brother auditions at the time‘…Well! We know who we’ll be siding with throughout the course of this movie. (via HeyUGuys)

Two gormless Big Brother hopefuls...who hopefully meet a grisly end...(no, not the genitalia of a bear. Jesus!)

Avast! Trailer For The Ward.

"I can't be sure, but it does look like my career"

Carpenter is back bitches! It’s been way too long since cult film director John Carpenter, he of Halloween, The Thing and Escape From New York fame, graced us with his cinematic presence. The 62 year-old has done next to nothing since 2001 when his glorious sci-fi failure Ghosts Of Mars, starring Jason ‘wot you fackin’ starin’ at?’ Statham, bombed at the box office. But now he’s back with a new film called The Ward and judging by the trailer it looks…well…it looks like a steaming bag of shit! Maybe it’s the way the trailer has been edited together but it reeks of 80s straight -to-video slasher flick and has disappointed the entire crew here. First Postlethwaite then Rafferty and now this?! F@ck you 2011.

You may of course disagree with our assumptions.

Avast! Trailer For Mission In-Frickin-Sanity.

Go! Go! Go! Here’s the trailer for the fifth installment of The Fast and The Furious franchise creatively entitled Fast Five. Fans will be pleased to know that Vin Diesel and Paul Walker continue¬† their homoerotic bromance for each other but this time they’re off to the slums of Rio, where no doubt vacuum sealed t-shirts will be soaked through with sweat as they’re pursued by none other than The Rock himself. Actually the prospect of both Diesel and Johnson sharing screen time together could lead to a rip in the space time continuum due to the overload of testosterone and facial grimacing. This shit just got real!

I'll think you'll find my shirt is the tightest.

Avast! Thor Trailer

It’s hammer time! Here’s the latest trailer for Marvel’s newest superhero movie directed by Blighty’s very own Kenneth Branagh. Thor stars Chris Hemsworth, Anthony Hopkins, Rene Russo, Idris Elba, Natalie Portman and a whole host of others. The movie deals with Thor’s origin story and how his father Odin banishes him to earth from his home Asgard, where he then spends most of his time in a semi-naked state, falling in love with Natalie Portman whilst swinging around a big f@ck-off hammer. Sounds like the perfect life.

Avast! The Fighter Trailer.

http://media.ign.com/ev/prod/embed.swf

Boom, boom , boom, boom. Ding, ding, ding ding. Smack, smack, smack, smack. This trailer, for David O’ Russell’s new movie The Fighter certainly does have a certain rhythm to it. Starring Mawky Mawk and Christian Bale it tells the story of the early years of pro boxer ‘Irish’ Mickey Ward with a special cameo appearance, which we hope will get a nod from the Academy, by Bale’s eye mole.



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