JLS Condoms…No Seriously.

Four members, for members.

If looking at their overly moisturised faces and shit haircuts weren’t enough to put you off sex for life, plastic boy band JLS are now launching their own range of jimmy hats.

Their perfect veneers and smoldering grimaces adorn all four packets which are colour coded and come are available in extra safe models only. These close combat socks are to go on sale in an effort to encourage safe sex between teenagers and people who are tone deaf.

During the launch of their Just Love Safe products, (See what they did there? That’s why they’re famous), singer Marvin Humes said: “It’s important to put your love in a glove. We used to get underwear thrown at us on stage, now we expect flying condom boxes!”

Hey, as long as they’re not used Marvin, eh?

 

Holy Moly Just Ripped Katy Perry A New One.

She wears vacuum sealed, rib busting dresses which fills up her cleavage quicker than the Titanic and sings songs about getting drunk and kissing members of the same sex and liking it, while never forgetting her strong Christian roots and maintaining a cheesy, candy esque appeal for her tween audience which nets her millions.

Recently though the walking contradiction, who’s music was once described as ‘lez ploitational’, that is Katy Perry fired a rather harsh and poorly worded shot across the bow of the media this week through Twitter, claiming that their collective criticisms about product placement in music videos by current pop stars, ( in particular the Avril Lavigne abomination here & more recently the Britney Spears video¬† here), was completely out of order and that they were demonic scum for doing so…or words to that effect.

British pop culture website Holy Moly have taken umbrage over Perry’s remarks and have returned fire with a biting, brilliant and all together deadly reply which you can thoroughly enjoy reading over on their website.

Why can’t these wannabe pornstars pop stars sing nice songs about their old dog, or their favourite bike, or birthday cakes, or flowers, or their kind elderly neighbour, or their local sports club, anything than another f@cking song about lesbian sex, one night stands, threesomes, or their never ending addiction to coitus.

Putting The Tramp In Trampoline.

Is your idea of a great music video one which includes a cardigan wearing geriatric with a plunging neckline jumping up and down on a trampoline in the middle of a farmer’s field, accompanied by none other than a violin playing Rab C Nesbitt? It is? Then prepare to be awesomed to the max.

Always the prankster Geldof squeezes one off in the direction of his violin playing friend.

Mental Russian Lady Gaga Cover.

Throughout the many hours we spend plundering the briny Internet deep we’ll land something, every now and again, which has the whole crew scratching our heads and staring at each other in bemusement. The video above is a fine example of such an oddity. A group of middle aged Russian men, possibly an A capella group, singing a cover version of Lady Gaga’s Bad Romance in a gents public toilet in various states of undress, with a blow up sex doll smattered in tomato ketchup, while doing copious amounts of cocaine. Yep, that pretty much sums it up. On a side note Russia scares the shit out of us.

Everyone agreed that Timmy Mallet's career was now officially over.

The New Pornographers Latest Music Vid Is Special.

This latest breezy little ditty from indie group The New Pornographers features a whole cast of funny people including Bill Hader, (nice Radio Clyde t-shirt), Paul Rudd, Don Glover, John Hodgman, Wyatt Cenac, Kevin Corrigan, (DiCaprio’s drug dealing cousin in The Departed) and The Daily Show’s John Oliver. The video is a parody concept charting the rise and fall of your atypical rock band including cocaine on a slice of pizza. Ah, the good old days. (via badassdigest)

Rudd and Hader have really let themselves go.

Avril Lavigne Likes To Advertise Stuff.

Above is the truly awful music video for Avril Lavigne’s equally awful new single What The Hell. If the sound of this ineffectual pop trite wasn’t bad enough it appears that the singer has decided to collect together as many companies as she can to use her video for some shameless product placements, including cameras, TVs, laptops, perfumes not to mention one for her own new line of clothing Abbey Dawn. Don’t ask us how we know this shit, we’re too ashamed to tell you.

Yes Avril , we were thinking exactly the same thing.