Frankie Boyle Tweets During The Jubilee.

If like us you didn’t turn the TV on once yesterday and by-passed the most obscene display of opulence and vulgarity, (which will be followed shortly by job cuts and redundancies around the UK due to planned austerity measures), in decades, then you probably missed the online Twitter commentary of proceedings by Glaswegian comedian Frankie Boyle.

True to form Boyle didn’t take any prisoners while cracking funnies about the entire Jubilee celebrations and case you missed them, here are a few selected examples.

The Olympics 2012 – Glasgow Style.

This music video for the new single Mickey 999 from Scottish band Mickey 9s envisages what the 2012 Olympics might look like if it were held in Glasgow.

The sense of realism portrayed in this video is so gritty and truthful even Ken Loach would be proud.

You can fan up Mickey 9s on Facebook or Twitter.

(via Glasgow Podcart)

The Swagger Marathon needs to become an Olympic event. Now!

Wee Wullie Bluenose & The Teddy Bears Will Save Rangers FC.

If you’ve been fortunate enough to live in a cave down by the beach in this country or happen to reside outside of Scotland then you might not know the epic story about how the future of Glasgow Rangers Football Club currently looks very bleak indeed.

The story has dominated the news in Scotland and when the club went into administration last month manager Ally McCoist defiantly assured staff and fans alike that ‘We don’t do walking away‘.

Hey Wullie! That’s us walking away now…with our hands over our ears.

STV To Develop A Braveheart TV Series.

 

With all the current tension between England and Scotland right now, in the run up to the 2014 independence referendum, it’s encouraging to hear about plans for a televesion series which will depict both countries hacking and slashing each other to bits.

STV have announced plans to make a historical drama series about one of Scotland’s most famous sons, William Wallace called simply ‘Wallace‘. STV issued the following statement regarding their plans:

“This was a turbulent time in Scotland’s history, in which William Wallace had a starring and pivotal role. We plan to delve deep into his character and explore his passions, bringing parts of history to life in a spectacular and raw depiction. With all eyes on Scotland in the current political climate, this also seems to be a very appropriate time to tell this story in more depth.”

Apparently the series will be created in the same vein as Spartacus and Game of Thrones…wait…so it’ll just be episodes full of naked rutting and three eyed crows? At least it’ll be more historically accurate than the original movie.

(via The Drum)

 

Avast! Trailer For Scottish Horror Movie Citadel.

The trailer above is for a Scottish horror film called Citadel and looks suitably grimy and disturbing…after all it was shot in Scotland.

*tap dances, claps hands and shouts ‘Tada!’*

The Irish/Scottish co-produced movie features rising star Aneurin Barnard, (Ironclad) and James Cosmo, (Braveheart, Game Of Thrones) and deals with a violent, mysterious pack of vicious feral children on a dilapidated housing estate. The plot rattles along like so:

Based on director Ciarán Foy’s real life experiences with being violently attacked and his subsequent life as an agoraphobic, Citadel is a very personal journey. The run-down suburbia of Edenstown casts a shadow over Tommy Cowley’s life. Trapped there by his agoraphobia since his wife was fatally attacked by twisted feral children, he now finds himself terrorized by the same mysterious hooded gang, who seem intent on taking his baby daughter. Torn between the help of an understanding nurse and a vigilante priest, he discovers that to be free of his fears, he must finally face the demons of his past and enter the one place that he fears the most…the abandoned tower block known as the CITADEL.

Honestly? You had us at ‘pack of vicious feral children‘.

Crazy Taiwanese Animated News Report On Scottish Independence Row.

Over the last few days in the UK much has been said and written about the forthcoming independence referendum in Scotland…and most of it has been utter horseshit.

So keeping with that theme here’s NMA.TV’s, (the online Taiwanese alternative news source), obscure, surreal and downright mental take on the whole issue complete with a headbutting Susan Boyle, Rab C Nesbitt, Groundskeeper Willy and Scotty from Star Trek. If only all news could be reported in this way.