A Ridiculous Alan Hansen Advert!

Alan Hansen the world's leading authority on chewing gum.

We saw this in a magazine recently and felt compelled to share it with you. Unless football pundit Alan Hansen now works as a farm cow chewing cud to produce milk this advert makes no sense whatsoever.

Who comes up with shit like this?

Ad Man # 1: “The product is chewing gum, we need to promote this in a way that doesn’t only sell the product as being cool but it has to have a health benefit angle too.”

Ad Man # 2: “I know let’s have Alan Hansen dressed in a suit sitting in the back of his chauffeur driven car telling us about how he never looks slovenly when he chews and that gum is also good for your teeth.”

Ad Man # 1: “Excellent work. That’s a rap everybody.”

RIP Randy Savage.

Ex-pro wrestler Randy Savage aka Macho Man has died following a car crash yesterday in Florida.

The 58 year-old who was travelling in his Wrangler Jeep with his wife Barbara apparently lost control of his vehicle, crossed a motorway reservation into oncoming traffic before crashing into a tree. It’s thought Savage may have suffered a heart-attack while at the wheel, his wife survived the crash with minor injuries.

So there you go, the passing, for us at least, of a legend. We can recall watching this mad man in action, (with the likes of Hacksaw Jim Duggan, Ric Flair and Jake ‘The Snake’ Roberts), bringing us entertainment every weekend and introducing the world to the underrated stylings of the hat/beard/sunglasses combo.

Rest in peace you gruff maniac.

Shakira Gets Excited Watching Barcelona.

Pop singer Shakira is dating Barcelona football player Gerard Pique. Here’s edited together footage of the singer getting all excited/frustrated/angry/happy watching her boyfriend play in the Copa Del Rey final between Barcelona and Real Madrid this week. Do you think she knew she was being filmed?

The Grand National Claims Another Two Horses.

via (Daily Mail)

Yesterday was Grand National day at Aintree, one of the biggest horse racing meets in the world. Most bookmakers were run off their feet taking bets from regulars and legions of non-regulars who fancied a flutter on the occasion in the vain hope their horse, (expertly selected either by the colour of the jockey’s uniform or the horse’s name), would cross the line first and net them some cash.

Usually horses will jump 30 fences in the Grand National but for the very first time in the history of the race competitors only jumped 28. This was because two horses had fallen first time around the course and had died instantly. Racing staff were only able to cover the bodies of the horses in canvas sheeting and guide the jockeys around the fences where they had fallen. Thirty three horses have now died since 2000 at the Aintree spring festival alone.

via (Daily Mail)

The BBC News website states:

Ornais and Dooneys Gate were fatally injured after their falls at the fourth and sixth fences, respectively.

This led to two of the 30 fences being bypassed for the first time in the race’s history as runners were sent around the obstacles on the second circuit.

Those who owned, looked after, trained and rode those two horses will be heartbroken.

Their deaths come after a National Hunt season which has seen high-quality chasers die, including Twist Magic and Pride of Dulcote.

Although if it wasn’t for horse racing we would never had been treated to this slice of genius:


Training Bib 1-0 Balotelli

We really don’t know what’s worse, the fact that Manchester City striker Mario Balotelli can’t figure out how to put on a simple training bib, (before his team’s Europa clash with Dynamo Kiev), or the fact that Robbie Savage’s punditry is akin* to listening to the sound of your own teeth sliding down a cheese grater.

*Yes, we used the word akin.

Look here old chap, this garment is broken!

 

Thom Evans Knocked Up Kelly Brook.

 

If you were to injure yourself so badly that after surgical procedure medics would later tell you that you were: “…literally a millimetre from paralysis or death”, you would want to live your second chance at life to it’s fullest.

Well that’s exactly what ex-Scotland international, Glasgow Warriors winger and brick shit house Thom Evans has done. After suffering a horrendous neck injury last year during a Six Nations clash with Wales, which forced him to retire from the sport, he has grasped his second chance at life by the boobies and knocked up the rather lovely Kelly Brook.

Good work Thom Evans.