Three Things About The London 2012 Olympic Opening Ceremony.

Image from Mirror.co.uk

I tuned in last night as most of the rest of you did too. Not to marvel at the spectacle of what £27m can buy you these days in pyrotechnics and special effects but to find out what Danny Boyle had up his sleeve and I wasn’t disappointed. Here’s three things which caught my eye during the proceedings:

1) The 55 year-old movie director somehow managed for a few seconds to subtly hi-jack the Olympics to make a political protest about impending cuts to the NHS in the next coming months by putting on a celebratory section of the ceremony highlighting the importance of the British National Health Service. It started with joyful bouncy children being wheeled into the arena by nurses on oversized hospital beds, only for them to suddenly become frightened and terrorised by evil dark forces led by a giant Voldermort. A dig perhaps at the British dream of retaining the NHS under threat by the current coalition Government?

Conservative MP for Cannock Chase, Adian Burley, also noticed the somewhat left of centre theme during the ceremony and made the mistake of taking to Twitter to voice his opinion on the matter by tweeting:

‘The most leftie opening ceremony I have ever seen – more than Beijing, the capital of a communist state! Welfare tribute next?’

Which he quickly followed up with:

‘Thank God the athletes have arrived! Now we can move on from leftie multi-cultural crap. Bring back red arrows, Shakespeare and the Stones.’

He has since deleted his entire account. Important side-note: This is the same Aiden Burley who was forced to step down recently as a ministerial aide for attending a Nazi themed stag party.

During a post-ceremony interview Danny Boyle was actually questioned as to why he felt the need to include the NHS at all:

‘One of the reasons we put the NHS in the show is that everyone is aware of how important the NHS is to everybody in this country. We believe, as a nation, in universal healthcare. It doesn’t matter how poor you are, how rich you are, you will get treated.’

Of course the Internet didn’t let this subtle political statement go unnoticed.

2) A German delegate stands and appears to give a Nazi salute as Team Germany enter the stadium, much to the amusement of Boris Jonson and Camilla Parker Bowles who were seated behind him.

3) The Queen seemed to be really enjoying herself!

 

 

Crystal Palace Cheerleaders Do Call Me Maybe.

Out of all the recent Internet parodies and covers of this infuriatingly catchy song Call Me Maybe, this one featured above, by the Crystal Palace Cheerleaders, is quite simply the most bizarre.

Apart from the never ending display of over exaggerated campy head and hand movements the fact that the entire video takes place inside Selhurst Park just screams sexy. For Pete’s sake will someone please give these poor girls some shoes before the end up with Hepatitis.

French Runner Mahiedine Mekhissi-Benabbad Is Everyone’s Least Favourite Athlete.

French athlete Mahiedine Mekhissi-Benabbad could be facing some form of disciplinary action ahead of the London Olympics. The runner won the European Championship’s 3000 metre steeplechase in Helsinki on Sunday and instead of celebrating or even catching his breath he approached the championship’s mascot ‘Appy’, smacked a gift bag from the mascot’s hands and shoved the mascot backwards.

The mascot suit was being worn by a 14 year-old girl and now the 27 year-old athlete is set to face the wrath of championship organisers who were furious at Benabbad’s actions. Of course this isn’t the first time the runner has courted controversy in 2010 he won the same race, this time in Barcelona, and once again approached a track mascot asked the person inside to kneel before him before pushing the mascot to the ground, (see video below) and just last year the Frenchman was involved in a track-side bust-up between team mate Mehdi Baala where a series of punches and a headbutt all completely missed their targets in a hilarious display of petulance.

Eric Kelly May Be The Greatest Boxing Trainer In History.

If he isn’t then he has to be one of the funniest.

First impressions might lead you to assume that Mr Kelly is arrogant, rude and disrespectful towards the people who train at the Church Street Boxing Gym in New York where he works. But then you discover that those training there are  none other than Wall Street bankers and city traders which means Mr Kelly is well within rights to verbally abuse them. And with such flair too.

British Birdman Invades US Open Trophy Presentation.

Golf is one of those sports that reeks of elitism and ostentatiousness, so imagine my delight when this nutcase managed to sneak past security to invade Webb Simpson’s winning interview, dressed in a Union Jack tea cosy.

According to Simpson one of the greatest crimes imaginable is interrupting a winning golfer with bird sounds, a crime so heinous that immediate imprisonment is the only suitable punishment.

Some Rain Fell At A Football Match.

If you were unfortunate enough to sit through the France v Ukraine Euro 2012 match yesterday you would have witnessed commentators and sports pundits claim that the thunder storm which, suspended play for an hour, was of biblical proportions.

ITV’s Adrian Chiles, once expertly described as ‘a thumb in a suit‘ was on the brink of launching into an end of days rant such was the hysteria surrounding nothing more than some thunder and lightening which lasted only half an hour.

Of course with no actual football to broadcast for a full hour the cameras turned on the fans who, in typical sports fan style, made the most of the short lived inconvenience.

(image via Buzzfeed)

Rangers F.C. The Movie.

With news of a TV movie being made about the current Leveson Inquiry, into the practises and ethics of the British press, we think that the ongoing epic saga centred around Glasgow Rangers Football Club should also be considered for  a film adaptation.

Let’s face it, those of us familiar with this story know that since the club’s entry into administration back in February there’s been a series of shocking revelations, accusations of double dealings and deceit. Also, there’s a solid cast of main characters and the story up till now has been filled with outrageous twists and turns.

But what if this extraordinary confusing chronicle, about one of Glasgow’s most famous clubs, received a big screen adaptation? Who would flesh out those involved? We tried to come up with some suggestions and before this kicks off into an all too familiar stramash about Rangers and Celtic remember, this is just for a bit of much needed light relief from a completely neutral standpoint.

So sit back doon on yer arse and put oot that molotov cocktail.

Alec Baldwin as Rangers manager Ally McCoist.

 

Liam Neeson as ex-Rangers manager Walter Smith.

 

Peter McNichol as Rangers chairman Craig Whyte.

 

Rory McCann as Sales Sharks owner Brian Kennedy.

 

Gary Oldman as former Rangers director Paul Murray.

 

Stephen Fry as former Rangers chairman Sir David Murray.

 

Geoffrey Palmer as takeover consortium leader Charles Green

 

(Top), Mark Strong as BBC reporter Mark Daly. (Bottom) Stanley Tucci as Reporting Scotland's Chris Mclaughlin

 

Damien Lewis as Celtic manager Neil Lennon.