Crazy Chris Is Craaazy!

This is it, what you are about to watch is the beginning of the end for the human race. Television has succeeded in it’s mission of dumbing people down to the intelligence level of an amoeba. Reality based programmes coupled with panel driven talent shows dominate the airwaves and we are all suffering as a result. Well, we are at least. Here’s some footage of the German equivalent of Britain’s Got Talent, (Das Supertalent 2010), featuring Chris ‘Crazy Chris’ Lynam from London who strips down naked on stage, places  a firework in his derriere and lights it, all because he can.

Look at Chris...he's craaaazy!

Look at Chris...he's craaazy!

The fact that this is barely an act in itself and more like something your drunken mate would do in his own front room after drinking too much industrial strength cider, isn’t what depresses us, it’s the way the whole piece is edited for TV. Jump cut after jump cut, slow-motion close ups of unknown celebrity judges open mouthed in disgust, repeated footage from different angles and over the top music all play in a vain attempt to crank up the tension, all for a naked mental case on stage with a lit firework in his hole. You know, Mike Judge was right.

Paul Rudd Played Nintendo In A Trenchcoat.

Actor Paul Rudd, (he of Knocked Up, Anchorman and I Love You Man fame), owned a trenchcoat back in the early nineties and liked nothing better than toear w it while grappling with the raw, savage power of Super Nintendo…outside in a damp, abandoned drive-in, with a crowd watching. Didn’t we all back then?  (via Topless Robot)

You And Your Poopmouth, Dermot!

Not sure if this was a simple slip of the tongue by the host of The X Factor, Dermot O’Leary, or if in fact he was simply expressing exactly what everyone else in the country has been thinking for some time now. Only joking Katie, we actually refuse to watch the soul sucking programme, which you so desperately need to be on. Thanks to Hot Lauren for the tip.

Sweary McSmokerson Usually Doesn’t Drink.


We have no idea who Audrina Partridge is, but after sailing through many pop culture websites we discovered she’s some sort of American television personality. In other words yet another vacuous, ex-reality TV star devoid of  talent.  The reason she came to our attention was due to the video above of her drunk as a skunk, poop mouth mother who was filmed by the paparazzi celebrity photo journalists outside a nightclub in LA, continually insisting that her ‘baby girl is gonna kick ass becasue she’s a f**king star. Before letting it slip that she and her daughter are to star in their very own reality series together.  White trash parents living off their siblings undeserved financial success on shitty, pre-scripted, so-called reality TV programmes. Is this what it has come to? Bargain basement.

Shamelesss: The US Version.

We don’t watch British TV here at HMS Friday, mainly because most of it is utter crap. From the little we’ve seen of Channel Four’s, ‘ain’t it grim up north’, series Shameless, we’ve not been that impressed. It always struck us as trying too hard to be controversial. But obviously American TV producers saw some potential in the programme, so much so they went and remade the entire series with William H Macy in the pivotal role of Frank Gallagher, this time struggling to keep his family of misfits together in the city of Chicago. We’ve also been reliably informed that another Channel Four series Skins has been given the US treatment too and early word suggests that it’s also a bag of no use.

N.B. Notice the change in music when the ‘heartfelt hardship’ portion of the trailer kicks in around the 3.15 mark? Nothing tugs at those heart strings than relatable human struggles, especially when set to quirky, xlophone based music.