Begad! The Simpsons – A XXX Parody.

Flanders with Marge...the character not the dairy based product, (although that happens later in the film too).

Yes this is a trailer for a porno but don’t worry it’s entirely safe to watch…or is it? We understand that the makers of this film are trying to slide a bit of humour into the proceedings, (excuse the pun), but who the hell would find this shit arousing? The only thing similar in life to watching an orgy of people suffering from jaundice with annoying accents  is Jersey Shore.

Begad! Pints That Fill Up From The Bottom?

Pints of  grog which fill up from the bottom to the top? This is madness, complete madness surely the person responsible for this machine is well versed in the dark arts? Apparently it’s actually very simple, specially designed glasses, which can only be used with the Bottoms Up Dispensing System,  have a magnetic flapper on the base which pushes up once placed on the dispenser cylinder, which then fills the glass from the bottom up at lightening speed. When the glass is removed from the machine the magnetic flapper closes the hole in the bottom of the glass. One of the main advantages to a system like this is you can pour many more pints in a short space of time because when you fill beer from the bottom up you don’t create foam therefore you get a quicker fill. But probably the smartest thing about this system is that companies can place adverts on the magnetic flappers on the bottom of the glasses. Genius. (via The Spoiler).

If you want to know more about the Bottoms Up Dispensing System chart a course for HERE.

Not The Advert Skipper’s Pipes Had In Mind.

Me love the laco peep.

Sweet mother of pearl! What the f@ck are they feeding people over in Finland? This video of a rather unique looking gentleman literally working himself up into a lather over eating some licorice, is even more disturbing than that picture of an alien in the Louisiana woods, (see below). Apparently the young man is so excited over his Skipper Licorice Pipes, because just like candy cigarettes they are banned in Finland, that he cannot control his enormous nerdgasm for his big Finnish…sorry, couldn’t resist.

UPDATE: This is an actual protest video against the Finnish government for banning the sale of licorice pipes. How very militant.

Begad! Hunter Snaps Strange Creature On Camera.

Set kecks to scarecited! This image, which has fascinated the entire crew here, was allegedly taken by an anonymous hunter in Louisiana. He wants to remain anonymous for fear of people claiming that he’s a hoaxer. Apparently this humanoid lurker of a creature was snapped by the hunter’s deer camera which was set up on a reserve in Berwick near Morgan City. The hunter claims that when he went to retrieve the camera the next morning he found it, along with his hide, in pieces. He took what was left of his camera home and managed to  download the pictures to his computer before screaming so loudly his trousers flew across his sitting room. This image has been burning up the Internet over the last few days and it could be one of three things:

1. A viral promotional picture of a Grim, for the up and coming PS3 alien invasion game Resistance 3.

2. A viral promotional still from the up and coming Steven Spielberg/JJ Abrams alien movie Super 8.

3. It’s real. Anyone want to buy a five man tent and some sleeping bags? We have no further use for them…ever!

N.B. Here’s a video of what some people online are claiming is the same hoax, a video taken by some hunters in Spain who claim they accidentally came a cross a similar looking creature in the woods.

Rich Git Exploits Mugging For More Cabbage

Looks like someone's cleaned Bernie's clock. Eh? Eh?

In case you didn’t know, or have never read The Daily Mail, Formula One boss Bernie Ecclestone was mugged recently and left with a corking shiner. Apparently four men attacked the billionaire outside his office in London and stole his Hublot watch, (Formula One’s official watchmaker). Not one to be outdone by greedy, money grabbing opportunists Bernie turned his traumatic experience into a money making advertisement for the very brand of watch he had stolen. His battered coupon appears on the Hublot advert with the tagline: “See what people will do for a Hublot watch.”  Nice one Ernie, just a shame you hadn’t been raped by a horse, we think you would’ve looked fantastic in a pair of jodhpurs.

Minus13? Time For A Dip.

We actually know this total f@cking nutcase pleasant young man who took it upon himself to cool down after work by taking a dip in the lukewarm waters of Loch Eck in Argyll during one of the coldest spells of weather the UK has experienced. The fact that the temperature was around a sweltering minus 13 didn’t phase Callum as he eagerly exited his long johns.



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