Security Guard Tackles Drunk Fan…With Head.

As the headline describes this is exactly what should happen to every attention seeking inebriated moron who strips half naked and takes to a pitch to interrupt any sport. No tazers, no tear gas, no batons just a good old dose of unecesarry roughness. Talent scouts should be trying to find out the name of that college security gaurd, although something tells us it may be David Dunn.

Drugged Up Bulgarian Gypsy Goes Tonto.

Oh! Look at his wee face.

Bulgaria scares us. There, we said it. Our blinkered view of the country is probably a direct result of reading the excellent book McMafia by Misha Glenny and his disturbing chapter on Bulgaria’s criminal underworld. The country, in his opinion, is awash with drugs, (well which country isn’t?). So this news story should come as no surprise as it involves a Bulgarian gypsy taking too many magic sweeties and going on a one man rampagathon*. Apparently once Angel Atanasov had successfully wired himself into the moon he severed part of his penis off, stabbed a lamb to death, cut off his father’s ear, stole a car, crashed into a motorcycle and set a farm on fire. According to the police the man, who is now in intensive care, took the drugs because he was bored. Haven’t these people heard of dominoes?

If you would like to know more about Angel’s epic drug fuelled rampage then chart a course for HERE.

*The word rampagathon was invented by us and is now being considered as an official entry on the website Urban Dictionary. That sound you can hear is us, high fiving ourselves.

Kitty-Kat Wards Off Gators.

Cats! Oh how they make our blood run cold. Unpredictably aggressive, non committal, frighteningly fast and secret poopers. Cats also manage to effortlessly blend courage with stupidity as this video clearly demonstrates.

N.B. Eliah missed nothing unbelievable, for behold the majestic power of the video camera!

It’s Time To Sex Death Up.

The last thing you would associate death with would be scantily clad women in sexy lingerie, unless of course you are Peter Stringfellow. But that’s exactly what Polish funerals company Lindner has done by way of their official calendar, which features said half naked women posing next to coffins. If you’re the kind of sick puppy who would like to see the rest of the images from Lindner’s calendar then chart a course for website Anorak who have kindly put together an excellent slideshow. We particularly like image number 18.

By The Seat Of Their Salopettes!

Not much is known about this video which was shot in Svaneke Harbour, Denmark during a high storm. The yacht apparently had spent 26 hours at sea and out of a crew of nine Poles only one was an experienced sailor. As things got a little ropey on approach to the harbour entrance Poland’s answer to the ancient mariner took the helm and as you can see pulled off a daring and pretty impressive manoeuvre to get safely in. We would like to imagine he swigging from a full strength bottle of Żubrówka vodka while doing so.

Bagad! The Horror! The Horror!

This, apart from a whole legion of other things, is probably the single most terrifying cover version of Rihanna’s hit single Only Girl (In The World). WARNING: Once you watch this video you cannot unsee what you will see.

Don’t ask how we discovered this, it’s not something we’re proud of.

BBC’s Nick Robinson Has Been Working Out.

We’ve never met political reporter Nick Robinson therefore we can’t cast any judgement on the man’s character but for years now we’ve been of the opinion he’s a self-important, prize bell end. As you will see in the video above our theory may actually have some gravitas. During a recent live broadcast outside the Houses Of Parliament Nick’s piece to camera was, in his words, ‘interrupted’ by an anti-war protester’s sign. The mere inclusion of this offensive piece of plywood sent Nick into such a tizzy, that when the live broadcast had finished he had to conceal his rage face with his handkerchief and once the steam had cleared from his bifocoles he drew together enough strength to wrench the sign from the protester’s hands, to then weakly stamp on it with his news brougues. He then handed over the remains to a BBC minion.

You’re outisde in an environment where a protest is taking place, what did you expect would happen Nick? It can’t always be about you and your aerodynamic info specs.