Here’s the first official trailer for Kevin Costner’s new movie 3 Days To Kill and it looks like a stinker.
Apart from an obvious attempt at modelling Costner’s character on Liam Neeson’s from Taken, the plot reeks of sameness to a shit ton of other action movies. Costner works for an agency which kills a load of European bad guys but he’s getting on now and just wants to spend some quality time with his family, fed up having to clean blood off his trousers every time he finishes a shift. But as we all know just handing in your notice in an action movie is never easy and the poor old guy is poisoned by his sexy blonde co-worker who informs him that the only way he survives the poison is to kill all these specific European bad guys within a time limit of three days, (hence the clever title). If he succeeds he will be given an antidote but if he fails he will die. Mmmmm wonder what happens?
During a bout of vigorous coitus actor Nicolarse Gage engages not one but three thugs in a seedy motel room, disposing of them individually in a stylistic yet violent manner, without loosing his rhythm or missing a single stroke as he continues to pleasure a large breasted maiden. Yes, this is a very NSFW clip from Gage’s new film Drive Angry which tells the story of Milton a troubled soul who has broken out of hell, (yes, you read that right the first time), and is racing against the clock to stop an evil cult which murdered his daughter and is now about to sacrifice a baby. Joining him on his quest is Amber Heard who plays something or other and various things happen along the way as they’re pursued by some guy and other fartblossom shit!
Drive Angry is released in the UK next month and it’s in 3DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Yep. We feel the same way Nicolarse.