If you have no idea what the Street Pastors scheme is here’s a brief explanation: A group of volunteers, (church going Christians), who roam around cities at the weekend responding to urban problems, engaging with people on the streets offering first aid if needed and flip flops for women who have sore feet from walking in high heels. Basically they try to ease late night tensions by simply being Christian.

The scheme is already in place in 13 locations in Scotland, including Aberdeen and Inverness, and is now set to expand by placing patrols in Banchory, Dundee, Glenrothes, Kirkwall, Nairn, St Andrews, Tain, Oban and Wick. What’s interesting to note is the expansion is being backed by Lloyds TSB Foundation for Scotland. (Mmmm, so your not lending money to small businesses but you are funding Christian based schemes instead. Interesting).

This project has actually inspired us to set up our very own late night guidance scheme, (which we hope will also be funded by the banks), we’re going to call it Street Bastards, we’ll be offering rum to any sober or drunk people we meet and assisting them back to our ship, so that when the awake from their alcohol induced slumber they find themselves at sea and are then contractual obliged to serve at least two months as crew members. Huzzah!