Billy Connolly Brands Tolkien ‘Unreadable’.

This story actually makes plenty of sense. A comedian, who hasn’t been funny for the last 20 years, feels the need to denounce the entire works of author J.R.R. Tolkien by branding them ‘unreadable‘, before confessing he’s never actually read any of them.

Scottish comedian Billy Connolly and star of the up and coming film The Hobbit, who infamously ended up greetin’ like a wain because he wasn’t cast in Braveheart and has since made it his mission to decry that movie at every opportunity, stated in an interview with Vulture:

“Never read Lord of the Rings. I could never read Tolkien. I always found him unreadable … I didn’t read [the books], and I normally don’t like people who have! The people who love it, they’re kind of scary. They talk all this gobbledygook and they think of it as the Holy Grail.”

That’s right Billy just you put the boot into the life works of a talented author and announce your disdain for all who enjoy his books, while you pick up your sizable pay check for portraying one of his characters in a movie adaptation of The Hobbit. Guess you must really need that money.

Chart a course for HERE, for the full interview.

Avast! Trailer For Brave.

Here’s the first official look at Pixar and Walt Disney’s new movie Brave and it’s crammed to the gunnels with Scottishness.

Even though pretty much every sterotype is on display here it’s refreshing to hear actors with genuine accents, Kelly MacDonald, Billy Connolly, Craig Ferguson, Robbie Coltrane and Kevin McKidd and for the first time the lead character is ginger, which in our humble opinion, is long overdue. The story itself is all about the following:

Since ancient times, stories of epic battles and mystical legends have been passed through the generations across the rugged and mysterious Highlands of Scotland. In Brave, a new tale joins the lore when the courageous Merida (Kelly Macdonald) confronts tradition, destiny and the fiercest of beasts. Merida is a skilled archer and impetuous daughter of King Fergus (Billy Connolly) and Queen Elinor (Emma Thompson). Determined to carve her own path in life, Merida defies an age-old custom sacred to the uproarious lords of the land: massive Lord MacGuffin (Kevin McKidd), surly Lord Macintosh (Craig Ferguson) and cantankerous Lord Dingwall (Robbie Coltrane). Merida’s actions inadvertently unleash chaos and fury in the kingdom, and when she turns to an eccentric old Witch (Julie Walters) for help, she is granted an ill-fated wish. The ensuing peril forces Merida to discover the meaning of true bravery in order to undo a beastly curse before it’s too late.

No real departure from Disney here with the traditional female character trying to break free of age old male dominance and constraints and looks a little too similar in parts to How To Train Your Dragon. Some critics have suggested that the style of animation leaves characters looking a little flat and translucent…eh, have you ever been to Scotland?

Brave is released next summer.

Disney’s Ballad Of Nessie Reeks Of Stereotypes.

Red hair? Check. Kilts? Check. Tartan scarves? Check. Bagpipes? Check. Tired use of every Scottish stereotype known to man? Check.

That’s right folks Disney’s new animated feature is set in Scotland and not since the advent of this prick:

has there been so many Scottish stereotypes tightly crammed into one cartoon feature.

Apparently The Ballad Of Nessie is a short film which will be shown before their updated version of Winnie The Pooh which is set to open in theatres in July. The official synopsis for the animated feature, which is to be narrated by Harry Lauder Billy Connolly is as follows:

Set in the ‘bonny blue highlands’ of Scotland, The Ballad of Nessie is a whimsical and colorful tall tale about the friendly Loch Ness monster, Nessie, and how she (and her best friend, the rubber duck MacQuack) came to live in the moor they now call home. Setting the adventure into motion is a greedy land developer named MacFroogle, who decides to build a mini-golf empire on top of Nessie’s home.

See what Disney did? Changed Scrooge for MacFroogle, oh those drawy types are clever aren’t they? We would have preferred it if the character’s name was something a little more subtle, like MacTightbastard.

Via (Slash Film)