Afternoon Dubloons. Links In Brief(s).

Stuff which what we found interestin'.

Stuff which what we found interestin’.

Wife finds footballer’s head on doorstep – (CNN)

If you were ever in doubt about a New World Order take a look at Taiwan’s new special forces uniforms – (Gizmodo)

Nine future TV shows all based on previous feature films – (Warming Glow)

No more yellow dye in Kraft Mac & Cheese – (Gawker)


Earth like planet discovered over 400 light years away – (Independent)

Hey Amazon, this Kenyan Prime Minister Head Mask isn’t at all racist. This is 2013? (Amazon)

Bruce Willis is bored of making action movies – (Guardian)

The art work of Kinkade has been modified with added Star Wars stuff – (DeviantArt)



Avast! Teaser Trailer For A Good Day To Die Hard.

Here’s your first look at A Good Day To Die Hard, where Bruce Willis returns as John McClane only this time he brought his son along. This is the fifth installment of the Die Hard franchise this time set in Russia. The basic plot rattles along like so:

‘Pew, pew, pew, BOOM, bang, bang, bagn, thwack, KABLAMMOO!’

Avast! Trailer For Looper.

In our humble opinion Rian Johnson directed one of the best episodes of the award winning crime drama Breaking Bad, back in season three, which was simply entitled Fly. It was a stand out chapter of the on-going story about a chemistry teacher turned drug kingpin, which featured nothing more than a simple fly.

Of course Johnson has also written and directed two notable movies, (Brick and The Brothers Bloom), and now his latest offering a sci-fi, time traveling thriller Looper is about to get it’s cinematic release. Starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Bruce Willis it deals with a futuristic gangland killer who works for the mob in the year 2042 and kills people who are sent from the year 2072. Things go a little crazy when he recognizes one victim as his future self.

As you’ll notice from the trailer above that Gordon-Levitt looks a bit different, this is due to the prosthetic make-up he is wearing so that he looks more like a younger version of Bruce Willis. Disappointed that he wasn’t dressed in a white, blood and oil stained, wife-beater vest.

Avast! Trailer For Moonrise Kingdom.

We were sitting in the galley last night watching Leaves Of Grass, wondering where the hell has Edward Norton disappeared to and now we know, he’s been off living in the wonderful world of Wes Anderson and who could blame him.

Above is the trailer for Anderson’s latest flick Moonrise Kingdom which follows such hits as The Fantastic Mr Fox and The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, and has plot that rattles around like so:

Set on an island off the coast of New England in the summer of 1965, two twelve-year-olds who fall in love, make a secret pact, and run away together into the wilderness. As various authorities try to hunt them down, a violent storm is brewing off-shore — and the peaceful island community is turned upside down in more ways than anyone can handle. 

Once again Wes Anderson regular Bill Murray has a starring role alongside Frances McDormand as the young girl’s parents,  Edward Norton as a Scout troop leader and Bruce Willis pops plays the local sheriff. What other film will you see this year that’ll top the sight of Bill Murray stripped to the waist armed with a bottle of wine and a hatchet?

Avast! Teaser Trailer For The Expendables 2.

This is less of a teaser trailer and more of a glorified cast list. So who’s left? Well for the third installment of this overblown, testosterone fuelled, fap fest they could draft in Steven Seagal, The Rock, Vin Diesel or how about The Chuckle Brothers? You’ll notice in the trailer that it announces every star’s surname and that ‘Hemsworth‘ pops up. Yeah, that’s not Chris Hemsworth the star of Thor, it’s his brother Liam, the star of…?

If the first film was anything to go buy the sequel will have about as much direction and plot as an eight year-old playing with his action figures in a sand pit.

After taking a seemingly simple job for Mr. Church (Bruce Willis) the Expendables find their plans going awry and one of their own is brutally murdered. The Expendables set out into hostile territory — with their new members Billy the Kid (Liam Hemsworth) and Maggie (Yu Nan) — to put a stop to a deadly weapon and gain their revenge against the villain who killed their brother.

See, we told you.

Avast! Trailer For GI Joe: Retaliation.

The Rock laughs in the face of underwater bullets.

Here’s the first official trailer for GI Joe: Retaliation starring Channing Tatum, The Rock, Jonathan Pryce and Bruce Willis and it looks shit. But the first film was also shit so at least there’s a level of consistency here.

The plot rattles around like so:

Pew, pew, pew. Braaaat, braaaaat, braaaaaaaat, BOOM, pew, pew, pew, thunk, pew, pew, pew, The Rock, KABLAMOO, swoosh, swish, whack, ‘Let’s move’, thwip, bamf, vroot, vroot, pew, pew, pew, zip, zap, screech, Bruce Willis.


Security Guard Tackles Drunk Fan…With Head.

As the headline describes this is exactly what should happen to every attention seeking inebriated moron who strips half naked and takes to a pitch to interrupt any sport. No tazers, no tear gas, no batons just a good old dose of unecesarry roughness. Talent scouts should be trying to find out the name of that college security gaurd, although something tells us it may be David Dunn.