UPDATE: Two And A Half Men has been officially cancelled after Sheen made some derogatory comments about the show’s head honcho by saying: “I wish him nothing but pain in his silly travels especially if they wind up in my octagon. Clearly I have defeated this earthworm with my words — imagine what I would have done with my fire breathing fists.” Two million a week down the swany.

Earlier yesterday actor Charlie Sheen phoned up his good friend radio broadcaster Alex Jones and revealed to the world that things might not be going according to plan in an interview for the ages. Jones, who runs the conspiracy website infowars.com , chatted to the actor live on air about his recent troubles.

Mr Sheen who claims he’s clean and sober referred to himself as a ‘battle tested bayonet’, other highlights included Vatican assassin warlocks and that he had a new gnarly tattoo grafted while watching the ‘death from above’ scene from Apocalypse Now in his private cinema. You can listen to a longer version of this mind frying interview over at WWTDD.

Charlie is right about one thing you should never judge a person without ever meeting them or spending time in their company first. But one thing is for sure…