When we first heard Hollywood was making a movie about the relationship between Snow White and the Huntsman, who in the original story is ordered by the evil Queen to take the maiden into the woods and kill her, only to later help her flee, we were a tad lukewarm to the news.
That was until a couple of months ago when they announced the cast would feature seven dwarfs, all named after Roman emperors, featuring Nick Frost, Ian McShane, Eddie Izzard, Toby Jones, Eddie Marsan, Stephen Graham and Ray ‘facking‘ Winstone and would be a dark and twisted re-imagining of the original story, where the Huntsman swears allegiance to Snow White to protect her and mentor her in a quest to vanquish the evil Queen.
Then we watched the trailer below and it’s looking like this movie could be a sleeper hit in the making, (apparently there are two more planned to complete trilogy), especially if, according to the trailer and our finely tuned bat-like ears, Chris Helmsworth has a Scottish accent only Mel Gibson would be proud of.
The first official trailer for the superhero nerd-fest The Avengers was released yesterday and as party bag after party bag of Doritos were dropped in basement floors the orgasmic moans of millions of overweight, single men were heard across the globe.
The Avengers is the movie Marvel Studios has been working towards for some time now, giving each superhero in their franchise their own respective outing before joing them together in one massive spandex orgy. Directed by Joss Whedon, (Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Dollhouse, Firefly), it stars Robert Downey Jr, (Ironman), Chris Evans, (Captain America), Chris Hemsworth, (Thor), Tom Hiddleston, (Loki), who appears to be the villian, Samuel Jackson, (Nick Fury), Mark Ruffalo, (The Incredible Hulk), Scarlett Johansson, (Black Widow) and Jeremy Renner, (Hawkeye).
The Plot couldn’t be any simpler, earth is threatened by an alien force, Nick Fury pulls together a team of superheros to save the planet, (not quite sure where Johansson and Renner’s characters fit in here, one can do martial arts in a catsuit and the other can fire arrows really well?). We will say this the only two things that can save this movie from turning into an enormous over-bloated cheese puff are Joss Whedon’s direction and Robert Downey Jnr’s charisma.
The Avengers is released in May of next year.
I have had it with these motherfucking actors in motherfucking spandex!