Lazy Daily Mail Article Riles Up Jingoistic/Elitist Readership.

The Daily Mail’s website posted up an article today about supposed spelling mistakes by local authority workers on road signs across the country. They led with a picture, (above), of a road outside of Innellan Primary school near Dunoon in Argyll where the word ‘SCKOOL’ can be clearly seen in yellow lettering painted on the road. Of course to anyone passing this looks like a spelling mistake by council road workers, but there’s an altogether different explanation which the Daily Mail conveniently overlooked. Because facts, who needs them, right?

The real story is that a sub-contracted construction firm dug a trench across the road which ran right through the original yellow ‘H’. You can see in the picture where they’ve refilled and tarmaced over it. Of course the firm didn’t have any of the official road lettering stencils the council use nor did they have the specific yellow paint used by the roads department, so they left the ‘H’ without a middle bar and end stalk. The ‘K’, (which you can see in the picture), was actually painted in by a well known member of the public as a prank and has yet to be corrected. Of course I found out this information with a simple five minute phone call to a Dunoon based council worker and a local resident who lives near Innellan Primary and I’m not even a paid journalist.

Nothing unusual about the Daily Mail failing to check the facts on a story but what was interesting were the comments below the article. A heady mix of class elitism and straight-up jingoism. Nigel Farage would be proud:

DM 5

DM 4

DM 3

DM 2

DM 1


Capcom Opened A Human Butchery.

Games developer Capcom launched a rather clever PR stunt over the weekend to promote the release of Resident Evil 6 by setting up a human butcher’s shop in Smithfield Meat Market, East London.

Entitled Wesker & Son the fake business premises played host to human hands, feet, arms, torsos, legs and even a full cadaver all made out of actual meat for people to buy. If you wanted a human hand it would’ve cost you £5.99, while feet were £6.00 and thigh steaks were £2.99. All the money made from the faux human meat sales went to the Limbless Association, a UK charity which helps those with limb loss, and assist their families and carers.

Of course not everyone managed to appreciate the wit or the ambition of this PR stunt and as usual the readers of the Daily Mail online took to  their keyboards. Here’s a few examples of the best comments which were posted, complete with original spelling mistakes:

‘I despair of this country. How was this allowed? By the way I love the way saddos have given themselves the title ‘Gamers’ as if it is a valuable activity – You are adults wasting your time PLAYING games.’

‘Yay a practical use for chavs and trade unionists is found at last, Turn em into soylent green its the only time they will be useful in their lives.’

‘Why was the ‘body female? Why not male. The word ‘depraved’ comes to mind. I wonder how many already damaged minds will think this appropriate and even fun. And how many small animals will suffer as the sickos get in some practice.’

‘No wonder the world is a sick as it is and that people turn into monsters seeing this sort of rubbish to promote what is a sickening game,these sort of games should be banned, it gives the young of today crazy ideas……’

‘I can not believe how low people are becoming , and why should we accept this kind of behavior this is not funny and surely one nut is enough to go do some stupid act of copying this and then suddenly we will be having an apademic .’

‘Discussing. How would you explain that to a terrified child!!’

(via Picky Glutton)

Antony Worrall Thompson Shoplifts Because He’s Insane.

...and here's two I stole earlier.

At least that’s what the rotund TV celebrity chef has been telling every tabloid newspaper in the UK.

As if the imminent collapse of the Euro or the threat of war between America and Iran wasn’t enough for us to worry about, up pops Antony Worrall Thompson and his ‘shoplifting addiction nightmare.’ Most of the papers actually credit some sympathy towards the man, allowing him to do what every vaguely famous person with money in the bank is uniquely permitted to do by the tabloid press; set the record straight. In an article featured in the Daily Fail he explains:

‘It was like a dream or a nightmare. I went back to the office with them and I’d taken a newspaper, three onions and a sandwich that time. I was just thinking over and over, ‘Why, why, why, are you taking three onions?’ I’d taken £6 of stuff and the rest of the bill came to about £30.’

Why Antony you were simply gathering all the necessary ingredients to make Newswich Soup. Lucky he didn’t nick all that stuff back in August during the London riots as he could’ve ended up with a four year prison sentence….ppfffftttt, who are we kidding he’s a Z-list celebrity with a double barrelled name. Class system? In this country? Do us a favour.


Afternoon Dubloons – Links In Brief(s)

Stuff which what we found interestin'.

Your days of buying cannabis on a day trip to Amsterdam may be drawing to a close – (The Independent)

A third body is identified in Ohio in connection with killings linked to a job advert on Craigslist – (CNN)

Woman claims she was held prisoner on a boat for 12 years by the Church of Scientology. Celebs may have been involved – (Village Voice)

Chelsea Clinton is now a journalist. Well done Chelsea way to keep a University graduate out of a job. – (The Hollywood Reporter)

You’re in a 20ft long boat and an 18ft long Great White Shark pops up to say hello. Whatdoyado?

Tough times for everyone. Ryan Phillippe puts $7.45M home on the market for a second time. – (Daily Mail)

Woman’s face catches fire during routine surgery. Nothing to see here, move along. – (Jezebel)

They’re going to remake Starship Troopers. Thanks again Hollywood. – (Film Drunk)

Large quantities of radioactive water have leaked into the sea from a power plant in Japan. Did someone say Godzilla? – (The Guardian)

Ryanair Wants Porn On Their Planes.

Passengers prepare to board and enjoy their inflight movie A Rear And Present Danger.

Don’t we all though? Really, that’s the one thing that’s missing when we board flights and take our seats for the journey ahead of us, the porn. We’ve lost count at the times we’ve thought to ourselves: ‘If only I could watch some hardcore filth on this flight, it would really make the two hours to London more bearable.’

Well it seems Ryanair boss Michael O’Leary is on the same, (stuck together), page as he’s proposing to feature pay-per-view pornography for passengers to watch during flights. Apparently he wants to launch an app for the airline which will allow customers to watch hot, sweaty, sloppy action on their beloved iPads and smart-phones as they travel. Not content with just the odd spank movie O’Leary also wants passenger to gamble while flying. Jesus, he’s like the Larry Flynt of the skies.

Oh the joys of travel. All you’ll be able to hear during your flight will the frantic rubbing together of corduroy, if your lucky someone might rub the fabric too fast and start a fire which would result in your plane crashing. You could give a survivor interview to the world’s press explaining what happened:

“I was sat next to this big, sweaty fella when he brought out his iPad and started watching Big Trouble In Little Vagina in glorious 1080p. It wasn’t long before his cords caught fire which spread quickly throughout the plane and then we crashed.”

(via Daily Mail)

Afternoon Dubloons – Links In Brief(s)

Stuff which what we found interestin'.

Celebrities with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle tattoos on their nostrils are all the rage – (Buzzfeed)

There is going to be a Top Gun 2 and the writers behind Thor are penning the script – (Film Drunk)

Ex-Brookside soap actor was a getaway driver for a hit-man who gunned down a father of four – (Daily Mail)

Canadian stabbed man in Glasgow because he thought he was a ‘zombie’ – (BBC Scotland)

It’s been the question on everyone’s lips since it was released. Will the iPhone 4S blend?

Staying with Apple. A ceremony involving 40 people was held in Penang to reserruct Steve Jobs – (Asia One)

A new book claims Hitler and Eva Braun survived the war and escaped to Argentina – (Sky News)

Maratho runner given running medal after race rival caught a bus – (BBC Scotland)

Morning Links In Brief(s).

Stuff which what we found interestin'.

Mad Men star January Jones finally shows off her baby to the world – (WWTDD)

A Google engineer lifts the lid on why Google + has become such a massive disappointment – (I Heart Chaos)

The UK robber, who’s been raiding bookmakers, is a gifted master of disguise – (Anorak News)

The guy who hacked into Scarlett Johansson’s phone and gave the world her bare arse, faces up to 121 years in prison, (might get 120 for good behaviour) – (Buzz Feed)

A squirrel eating peanut butter from inside the jar.

Exclusive proof that Lindsay Lohan may in fact be British – (Inf Daily)

U.S. military drones have been infected by a computer virus – (The Week)

Britain rallies together to stop Christmas – (Daily Mash)

Cabinet minister Oliver Letwin doesn’t need a shredder for top secret documents, he uses park bins instead. Much safer – (Daily Mail)

Afternoon Dubloons.

Boyfriend watches girlfriend’s murder on webcam in Canada (Daily Mail)

McDonalds National Hiring Day descends into total carnage (I Heart Chaos)

It wasn’t cocaine, it was white chocolate Vanessa Hudgens was licking…claims her agent (WWTDD)

The now officially approved Weird Al Yankovic cover of Lady Gaga’s Born This Wahey!

Vin Diesel claims that XXX3 is a go. (Film Drunk)

Dr Who star Elizabeth Sladen has passed away at 63 (BBC News)

Top ten Star Wars toys that Hasbro hasn’t remade (Topless Robot)

What every self respecting follower of fashion needs; wellies with a heel (She Wears Red Feathers)



The Grand National Claims Another Two Horses.

via (Daily Mail)

Yesterday was Grand National day at Aintree, one of the biggest horse racing meets in the world. Most bookmakers were run off their feet taking bets from regulars and legions of non-regulars who fancied a flutter on the occasion in the vain hope their horse, (expertly selected either by the colour of the jockey’s uniform or the horse’s name), would cross the line first and net them some cash.

Usually horses will jump 30 fences in the Grand National but for the very first time in the history of the race competitors only jumped 28. This was because two horses had fallen first time around the course and had died instantly. Racing staff were only able to cover the bodies of the horses in canvas sheeting and guide the jockeys around the fences where they had fallen. Thirty three horses have now died since 2000 at the Aintree spring festival alone.

via (Daily Mail)

The BBC News website states:

Ornais and Dooneys Gate were fatally injured after their falls at the fourth and sixth fences, respectively.

This led to two of the 30 fences being bypassed for the first time in the race’s history as runners were sent around the obstacles on the second circuit.

Those who owned, looked after, trained and rode those two horses will be heartbroken.

Their deaths come after a National Hunt season which has seen high-quality chasers die, including Twist Magic and Pride of Dulcote.

Although if it wasn’t for horse racing we would never had been treated to this slice of genius:

Gordon Ramsay’s Face Has Finally Melted.

A face you could literally climb.

Earlier this month TV celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay was photographed leaving a Los Angeles surgery complete with medical cap. Of course the tabloid press were sent into a tizzy and it then emerged that the shouty arsehole 44 year-old may have gone through a hair plug operation costing $30,000. Now it seems there may have been a problem with the surgery as Ramsey’s face has become swollen around the eyes and forehead. Could this be related to the alleged hair transplant? Of course not as Gordon himself explained to the Daily Mail, that it’s nothing more than an infection brought on by petrol from gangsters and a horse. Petrol from gangsters and a horse? Yes petrol from gangsters and a horse.

Apparently Baron Munchausen Ramsey was forcibly tied up by Costa Rican gangsters, during the filming of his recent Channel Four documentary which exposed the cruel illegal trade in shark fins, and was doused in petrol which caused major problems for his scalp. Jason Bourne then went on to explain:

‘I was in Napa for Christmas literally two weeks after the shoot and went horseback riding with the kids and had a horrendous allergic reaction to the horse, combined with the problems I had with my scalp – so it was just a hair nightmare.’

This agent of danger leads a life most of us dull and boring folk can only dream of. We’re betting he owns a car he can drive underwater and goes to bed at night dressed in a white tuxedo.