Afternoon Dubloons

Stuff which what we found interestin’.

An obituary every man, woman and child should read today – (Daily Telegraph)

No sequel to Drive but Gosling’s character might still get behind the wheel – (SPR&R)

The 10 biggest lies told on dating websites – (What Culture)

What does the future hold for the first person shooter game? (Den Of Geek)

Curiousity Rover finds ringpull in Nevada desert something shiny on Mars – (The Sun)

Scrapped US military plans to develop flying saucers finally revealed – (Guardian)

3G security flaw could let anyone track your phone – (Mashable)

Man dies after taking part in a cockroach eating contest – (YouTube)

 

Ladies & Gentlemen Please Be Upstanding For The ‘Pippa Butt Lift’. (!)

First of all, we don’t see it.

Ever since the tabloid press went into a frothing meltdown over Pippa Middleton’s derriere we haven’t been able to understand what all the fuss is about.

Let’s be brutally honest here, it’s not all that. Is it? Her jacksie is neither round, nor pear shaped, nor voluptuous, nor bullet proof hard. But we are apparently in the minority when it comes to Pippa’s arse as there seems to be flocks of braindead sheep people who think otherwise and their admiration for the young lady’s buttocks knows no bounds now that a special cosmetic surgical procedure is now available.

Yes, you too could have a princess’s sister’s arse thanks to the Pippa Butt Lift courtesy of Miami plastic surgeon Dr Constantino Mendieta, who will, for a price of course, carve up your rump with his little knives and leave you with some royal looking booty. Speaking to The Telegraph he said:

“Pippa has a more curvaceous yet lean body so we are getting lots of requests from patients asking for liposuction and body contouring to get the ‘Pippa Body.’”

Of course the Pippa body and arse can also be achieved in three easy and inexpensive steps which by-pass the need for any kind of surgery.

1. Put down your large cream eclair.

2. Open your front door.

3. Go to local gym.

(via The Telegraph)