david cameron

David Cameron’s Conference Rap.

Posted on by in Funny Booty, Political Booty and tagged , , , , , .

Prime Minister David Cameron only finished his closing speech at this year’s Conservative conference in Birmingham a couple of hours ago and already the Internet is burning up with a perfect parody video.

Thanks once again to the skills of Cassetteboy, Cambot take a satirical savaging. In fact I actually believe this speech more than the bile which just fell out of his word hole.

For those interested here are the lyrics in full:

I’m hardcore and I know the score
And I am disgusted by the poor
And my chums matter more
Because we are the law
And I’ve made sure
We’re ready for class war
Taking money from the man who works long hours
Giving power to the tycoons in the glass towers
That is why I can look you in the eye
And say This is the party of the motherfuckers
We don’t care about them other suckers
Because this is the party of the motherfuckers
And no, I don’t think that’s a dirty word
So let the beat drop
I come here with flows right from the top
Everybody knows if you work in a shop
We won’t help you, and do you know what?
People rising from the bottom to the top
Has got to stop
We have the bravery
To bring back slavery.
Working in a supermarket
Is just the start of it
My friends
There is no job at the end of it
You will be working for your benefits
Forever.
Let me get this off my chest
Saying yes
We are selling the NHS
And we’ll give you less
And that is just for starters
Even after privatising sticking plasters
It is a social disaster
That makes our hearts beat faster
Now, I am you master
The last thing this country needs is
Us, the Conservatives
Worse than the alternative
We don’t care
if you’re driven to despair
Don’t you dare say
It’s not fair
I’m not saying it’s not funny
It is for me, I’ve got loads of money
This is the party of the motherfuckers
The country is run for me and my muckers
This is the party of the the motherfuckers
We just don’t care about them other suckers

Super Tory Boy: The Game

Posted on by in Funny Booty, Gaming Booty, Political Booty and tagged , , , , , , , , , .

super tory

With the country in pretty poor shape right now, (current UK deficit stands at £1.2 trillion), most of the blame falls squarely on the shoulders of the present Government, in particular the Conservative party.

Trust the Internet to throw up a light hearted approach to apportioning blame, through the medium of a nifty little platform game called Super Tory Boy, an homage to Super Mario. Players can chose between three characters; Dave, Gideon and Boris.

Play the game HERE.

Philip Schofield Handed A List Of Suspected Child Paedos To The PM…On Live TV.

Posted on by in TV Booty, WTF Booty and tagged , , , , , , , .

Earlier today something unprecedented happened on British TV. Presenter Philip Schofield was interviewing Prime Minister David Cameron on the ITV programme This Morning, when completely out of the blue he produced a written list of names who he had found plastered over the Internet as suspected child paedophiles. He handed the list to Cameron and asked if he was going to speak to those people on the list about the allegations. Presumably because some of the names might have been prominent MPs.

Inexplicably Cameron’s reply, (incidentally without even looking at the list), was to suggest that this was an action which could spark a witch hunt against people who are gay. That’s right the Prime Minister was warning Philip Schofield that the names on the list were gay, not suspected child paedophiles, but homosexuals. I’m I the only one who doesn’t understand this response?

To start with the names are from the Internet which let’s be honest isn’t always the most reliable source of solid information, or indeed evidence but Schofield’s actions are just the latest in a long line of developments which point to a real possibility that an elite British paedophile ring  has operated on these shores for over 40 years, whose members may have included prominent MPs. Just last month Labour MP Tom Watson addressed Cameron in parliament during Prime Minister’s Questions and asked about allegations involving an aide to a former Prime Minister who could allegedly procure pictures of children.

Cameron is certainly feeling the pressure mount with this story but to somehow use the cover of being a ‘homosexual’ when these people are being accused of child paedophilia is quite simply baffling.

Three Things About The London 2012 Olympic Opening Ceremony.

Posted on by in Sports Booty and tagged , , , , , , , , .

Image from Mirror.co.uk

I tuned in last night as most of the rest of you did too. Not to marvel at the spectacle of what £27m can buy you these days in pyrotechnics and special effects but to find out what Danny Boyle had up his sleeve and I wasn’t disappointed. Here’s three things which caught my eye during the proceedings:

1) The 55 year-old movie director somehow managed for a few seconds to subtly hi-jack the Olympics to make a political protest about impending cuts to the NHS in the next coming months by putting on a celebratory section of the ceremony highlighting the importance of the British National Health Service. It started with joyful bouncy children being wheeled into the arena by nurses on oversized hospital beds, only for them to suddenly become frightened and terrorised by evil dark forces led by a giant Voldermort. A dig perhaps at the British dream of retaining the NHS under threat by the current coalition Government?

Conservative MP for Cannock Chase, Adian Burley, also noticed the somewhat left of centre theme during the ceremony and made the mistake of taking to Twitter to voice his opinion on the matter by tweeting:

‘The most leftie opening ceremony I have ever seen – more than Beijing, the capital of a communist state! Welfare tribute next?’

Which he quickly followed up with:

‘Thank God the athletes have arrived! Now we can move on from leftie multi-cultural crap. Bring back red arrows, Shakespeare and the Stones.’

He has since deleted his entire account. Important side-note: This is the same Aiden Burley who was forced to step down recently as a ministerial aide for attending a Nazi themed stag party.

During a post-ceremony interview Danny Boyle was actually questioned as to why he felt the need to include the NHS at all:

‘One of the reasons we put the NHS in the show is that everyone is aware of how important the NHS is to everybody in this country. We believe, as a nation, in universal healthcare. It doesn’t matter how poor you are, how rich you are, you will get treated.’

Of course the Internet didn’t let this subtle political statement go unnoticed.

2) A German delegate stands and appears to give a Nazi salute as Team Germany enter the stadium, much to the amusement of Boris Jonson and Camilla Parker Bowles who were seated behind him.

3) The Queen seemed to be really enjoying herself!

 

 

Spin Doctor At No 10 Tries To Bully A BBC Reporter.

Posted on by in Political Booty and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , .

This video is fascinating on two levels the first is the fact that a well known Conservative spin doctor, Craig Oliver actually confronts BBC reporter Norman Smith right outside No 10 and persistently complains to him about the recent coverage his channel has run on the current scandal surrounding the  Secretary of State for Culture, Olympics, Media and Sport Jeremy Hunt and his alleged improper connection with Rupert Murdoch’s News Corp.

The second reason this video is fascinating is that a well known Conservative spin doctor was foolish enough to confront a television reporter right outside No 10, blissfully unaware that the entire conversation was being recorded on camera. You would think a man like Craig Oliver, an ex-BBC executive, would be a little more savvy when handling the press.

Malcolm Tucker, of course, would have embarked upon on an entirely different course of action.

David Cameron Wanted To Kill David Bercow.

Posted on by in Political Booty and tagged , , , , , , .

Just look at his wee face. Is Cameron related to Prince Joffrey?

The look of thunder on Prime Minister David Cameron’s coupon was caught on camera earlier this week as the Speaker of The Commons David Bercow delivered his speech to The Queen ahead of her address to Parliament to mark her Diamond Jubilee. The reason for such a stern, dagger-conjuring, expression was because Bercow had described her majesty as: ‘A kaleidoscope Queen of a kaleidoscope country’. A line which even made the Queen herself shuffle uneasily around in her royal scants. The absolute gall of the man and to think they beheaded Sean Bean for less. [Spoiler Alert]

As it turns out Cameron was obviously still reeling from the line, so much so, that he mocked Bercow in the House of Commons two days later. This is the year 2012…isn’t it?

Crazy Taiwanese Animated News Report On Scottish Independence Row.

Posted on by in Funny Booty, Political Booty, Scottish Booty and tagged , , , , , , , , .

Over the last few days in the UK much has been said and written about the forthcoming independence referendum in Scotland…and most of it has been utter horseshit.

So keeping with that theme here’s NMA.TV’s, (the online Taiwanese alternative news source), obscure, surreal and downright mental take on the whole issue complete with a headbutting Susan Boyle, Rab C Nesbitt, Groundskeeper Willy and Scotty from Star Trek. If only all news could be reported in this way.

 

London’s Big Society Is On Fire.

Posted on by in WTF Booty and tagged , , , , , , , , , .

Boris has cut short his holiday because of the riots. This shit just got real!

As ineffectual politician after ineffectual politician fill up our TV screens bleating about how the riots in London, Bristol, Birmingham, Liverpool, Leeds and Manchester last night were started by ‘opportunistic common thieves and thugs‘, and have absolutely nothing to do with far deeper and darker problems in our society, flick them the fingers and blow a large raspberry at them all…and then change the channel because Extreme Makeover: Home Edition has probably just started.

As much as David Cameron and his sitcom live-in life partner Nick Clegg will tell you otherwise, (see the Tory’s election flagship policy the ‘Big Society‘), British society has been crumbling for some time and just like a large puss filled wart on the end of your genitalia it was ignored in the hope that it would just fix itself. We are not condoning what has happened over the last couple of days but to solve a problem you need to try and establish what the problem is, and this malfunction goes far deeper than the shooting of a 29 year-old father of four by police in Tottenham.

Pretty much everyone we contacted yesterday online knew in advance that trouble was coming. On Twitter yesterday we found this:

…a picture taken by someone living in the Tottenham area who found these fliers around High Street basically advising people who may be worried that they had been filmed by police looting and rioting to change their appearance. This in itself could merit a fantastic new reality TV show: Extreme Makeover: Anarchy Edition:

‘Will is worried that the police may have filmed him looting JD Sports the night of the riots and has become a recluse, refusing to leave the house for fear of being arrested. So we’ve sent over a crack team of our top urban stylists to give Will a make over, so he can venture outside and stride the streets of Tottenham with the confidence he once had. Say bye-bye face scarf and skip hat, say hello comedy glasses, fake nose and eye patch.’

The media are reporting that those responsible for the civil unrest are ‘kids’ and predominately Black or Asian. Here’s a link to a video showing a man being assaulted and mugged in broad daylight on the streets of London yesterday. His assailants aren’t ‘kids‘ and they certainly aren’t all Black or Asian. Another video below shot by a Sky News camera crew shows the looting of a sporting goods shop in Tottenham by various people of all ages, sex and ethnicity.

These rioters are well organised, mobile and after the events of last night, pretty much in control.