In A Men’s Public Urinal No-One Can Hear You Scream.

Not your average hole in the wall. Picture via

Firstly we want to apologise in advance if the following details of such a depraved story, (featured over at the always excellent, upsets and disturbs the natural rhythm of your day, but we strongly feel this story should be read as a Public Service Announcement, so that men shall no longer wander into public urinals unaware or off guard.

This disturbing yarn, complete with pictorial evidence, was featured on Vice earlier this week and just like a never ending flow of piss it’s now all over the Internet. If you want to know all the details of this sordid story then chart a course for HERE, the abbrievated version rattles along like so:

Man working in a famous chain pub in Central London is approached by a worried customer who claims he saw an eyeball looking up at him from one of the urinals in the gent’s toilets. Confused and intrigued the pair then head off to investigate, only to find that the toilet is flooded with urine. Checking on a locked adjoing room to the toilet they are shocked when a man soaked from head to toe in piss exits the room at speed and barges past them, out through the pub and away. Regaining their compusure the customer and bartender then venture into the adjoining room only to discover that all the plumbing hooked up to the urinal in the next room had been removed and a large hole had been cut in the wall underneath the urinal, large enough for someone to rest their head and shoulders in, so that unaware patrons using the toilet next door were urinating on the person lying in the makeshift hole on the other side of the room.

We’re not doing this insane story justice as a snorkel is also featured. Yes, a snorkel. From now on we’ll be venturing out into public places wearing incontinence pants. Have a great Friday.