We’re a bit late with our good wishes for a man who has pretty much defined cinema over the course of his acting career. Clint Eastwood, who turned 82 yesterday, has starred in over 50 films and directed a few too.
In honour of a man who has given us a shit ton of movie lines to quote over the last few decades here’s a ten minute tribute video highlighting 170 of his greatest. Happy birthday you gravely son of a bitch!
There are very few films which instantly remind us of summer, movies which prompt us to recall long afternoons, short sleeves, warmer climes and ever lasting sunsets. One film in particular, for us at least, which gets the old summer memory sensory firing is the classic Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield golf romp Caddyshack.
Here’s a nifty remix by DJPanther72 of the very first minute of the Caddyshack theme, (I’m alright sung by Kenny Loggins), you know the bit with the golf course at dawn, the sprinklers and then the all important gopher?
The Telegraph is reporting that Hollywood actor Robert De Niro has been slated to star in a movie about Wall St swindler and convicted fraudster Bernie Madoff, a man who cheated thousands of investors in his Ponzi scheme out of a collective $50bn.
This is wrong on so many levels, for one there are umpteen documentaries and books about this shithead so if people really want to find out about this vile character then there’s tons of literature already out there, we don’t need a big budget Hollywood movie with A-Listers hamming it up for the camera, on the back of true story which ruined countless lives. What if the movie ends up getting a nod from the Academy and De Niro wins Best Actor Oscar for his role? His speech could be:
“Wow, what an honour. Yeah, thanks. This was a terrible story, a story about the actions of one man which we all felt just had to be told and our sympathies are with the thousands of people who were left financially ruined through the actions of that one man. But f@ck you guys I just won an Oscar!
Apparently HBO have bought the rights to the book “Truth and Consequences: Life Inside the Madoff Family“, a book incidentally penned with the co-operation of Madoff’s son Andrew and other family members, who have yet to confirm or deny that they’ve received royalties for collaborating.
Yes we know Madoff will never see the light of day, (he was sentenced to 150 years), and that his son Mark was so ashamed of his father’s crimes he committed suicide, but you know, you just f@cking know that a ruthless, egotistical, narcissist like Bernie Maddof will relish the fact that his life will be immortalised on the big screen by arguably one of the greatest actors of a generation.
This is exactly how the TV series Heroes should’ve been made.
Directed by Josh Trank this superhero indie flick stars Michael B Jordan, (Wallace from The Wire), Dane DeHaan and Michael Kelly and was written by Max Landis, (son of legendary director John Landis), and tells the story of three high school students who make an incredible discovery, which in turn gives them uncanny powers beyond their understanding. But as is the case with having any kind of power in life things start to go a tad dark, much like being in charge of the TV remote.
We’re not usually fans of the whole ‘found footage‘ genre, but there’s certainly something interesting about the look and feel of Chronicle, which is due for release on February 2012.
Not so much a trailer as a teaser for the forthcoming, (pppffffftttttt we said ‘coming‘), and for what we pray to the great big f@cking maker in the sky is the very last, installment of the American Pie movie franchise which started, would you believe, 12 years ago!
*Thinks back over life’s achievements in that time. Failure tears well up in eyes*
Yes, it stars the entire cast from the 1999 original, (even Stifler’s mum is back), giving everyone involved one last desperate attempt to clear their over inflated Hollywood mortgages.
But what of the storyline? Quite simple really, Jim and his band camp bint are now married and have spawn. But Jim is still wanking into socks. Bless.
With a slew of re-makes in the pipeline, including Total Recall and Blade Runner, (oh yes they are), it should come as no surprise that Hollywood players are gearing up to re-make the cult surfing action movie Point Break. A film which pretty much cemented Keanu Reeves fame, boosted the career of Patrick Swayze and gave us possibly the finest Gary Busey performance ever captured on celluloid, (see video above).
Apparently the rights to the film have been bought by a company called Alcon and slated to produce, along with the company’s co-founders Broderick Johnson and Andrew Kosove, is Michael DeLuca, (Rush Hour 2, Drive Angry, Blade 2), who is positively bristling with enthusiasm over the prospect:
‘Point Break’ wasn’t just a film, it was a Zen meditation on testosterone fueled action and manhood in the late 20th century and we hope to create the same for the young 21st!”
Years before the Internet we had to rely on magazines, (or if you lived in Britain a late night programme called Cinema, Cinema, Cinema), for all the latest news and trailers on films which would otherwise pass under your radar. But thanks to the web, movies like the one above, the Indonesian action-thriller The Raid, get the world-wide attention they truly deserve.
A lot of movie websites are heaping praise on this flick proclaiming it as one of the best action movies of the last ten years and to be fair that’s not surprising considering the film’s John Carpenteresque plot, which is so simple it’s amazing it hasn’t been thought of before:
Deep in the heart of Jakarta’s slums lies an impenetrable safe house for the world’s most dangerous killers and gangsters. Until now, the run-down apartment block has been considered untouchable to even the bravest of police. Cloaked under the cover of pre-dawn darkness and silence, an elite swat team is tasked with raiding the safe house in order to take down the notorious drug lord that runs it. But when a chance encounter with a spotter blows their cover and news of their assault reaches the drug lord, the building’s lights are cut and all the exits blocked. Stranded on the sixth floor with no way out, the unit must fight their way through the city’s worst to survive their mission. Starring Indonesian martial arts sensation Iko Uwais.
A police raid on a tower block full of gangsters. Genius!
It seems a collection of wasters who have way too much free time on their hands and very little intention of doing anything constructive with their lives dedicated movie enthusiasts over at website Pajiba have edited together a fantastic 11 minute montage of all the best threats ever issued by actors and actresses in cinematic history.
Our favourite is the one delivered by a young Viggo Mortenson from the 1995 movie The Prophecy, who explains to a woman that he is going to lay her out and fill her mouth with her mother’s feces. That’s quite a threat and one which would probably require some pre-planning, in fact the logistics involved of timing the woman’s mother’s next bowel movement with the woman’s current location would be a nightmare.
Now that big Arnie has been voted out of office as the Governator of California will this now mean he will be stretching off his thespian gurning muscles? We hope so, as an individual who can act and sing it would seem wasteful for him not to.
This video comes from the minds of brothers and musicians Jon and Al Kaplan who specialise in creating musical parodies of films and TV, chart a course for their main website HERE. Check out the songs for 24 Season Two: The Musical, in particular the number entitled Dammit (The Longest Day Of My Life).