Charting A Course Through The Mundane
‘Like Betamax, they don’t make them like him any more.’
Ray Hudson is the world’s greatest sports commentator, (discounting Alan Partidge), and the video above proves exactly why.
The former Newcastle United player turned pundit for beIN Sports likes to break down commentary walls and step over onto the other side when players like Ronaldo and Messi score goals.
Gary Lineker, famous for being one of England’s greatest football players, is taking a royal pounding on twitter and it would take someone completely devoid of any humour not to find it funny.
How has this come about? Well a few years back Gary confessed that during the 1990 World Cup match against Ireland he had a bit of an accident and was caught short while playing, (see video above). This sort of thing happens all the time to sportsmen and Lineker being the consummate professional sorted himself out, by wiping his arse on the pitch, and continued to play.
Somehow 24 years later the incident has come back to haunt Gary with people on Twitter reminding the ex-footballer he touched cloth in front of millions of viewers by tweeting: ‘You shat on the pitch,’ at every conceivable chance they get. Infuriated with their troll-like behaviour Lineker embarked on a mass blocking this week which, as any person with even passing knowledge of the Internet will tell you, never, ever works.
It’s just never going to stop!
(via Twitter)
Answers on a postcard, please.
If you were unfortunate enough to sit through the France v Ukraine Euro 2012 match yesterday you would have witnessed commentators and sports pundits claim that the thunder storm which, suspended play for an hour, was of biblical proportions.
ITV’s Adrian Chiles, once expertly described as ‘a thumb in a suit‘ was on the brink of launching into an end of days rant such was the hysteria surrounding nothing more than some thunder and lightening which lasted only half an hour.
Of course with no actual football to broadcast for a full hour the cameras turned on the fans who, in typical sports fan style, made the most of the short lived inconvenience.
(image via Buzzfeed)
With news of a TV movie being made about the current Leveson Inquiry, into the practises and ethics of the British press, we think that the ongoing epic saga centred around Glasgow Rangers Football Club should also be considered for a film adaptation.
Let’s face it, those of us familiar with this story know that since the club’s entry into administration back in February there’s been a series of shocking revelations, accusations of double dealings and deceit. Also, there’s a solid cast of main characters and the story up till now has been filled with outrageous twists and turns.
But what if this extraordinary confusing chronicle, about one of Glasgow’s most famous clubs, received a big screen adaptation? Who would flesh out those involved? We tried to come up with some suggestions and before this kicks off into an all too familiar stramash about Rangers and Celtic remember, this is just for a bit of much needed light relief from a completely neutral standpoint.
So sit back doon on yer arse and put oot that molotov cocktail.
Alec Baldwin as Rangers manager Ally McCoist.
Liam Neeson as ex-Rangers manager Walter Smith.
Peter McNichol as Rangers chairman Craig Whyte.
Rory McCann as Sales Sharks owner Brian Kennedy.
Gary Oldman as former Rangers director Paul Murray.
Stephen Fry as former Rangers chairman Sir David Murray.
Geoffrey Palmer as takeover consortium leader Charles Green
(Top), Mark Strong as BBC reporter Mark Daly. (Bottom) Stanley Tucci as Reporting Scotland's Chris Mclaughlin
Damien Lewis as Celtic manager Neil Lennon.
Watch Iker Casillas, Real Madrid’s goalkeeper, pick his nose and wipe whatever abomination was in there on a small child’s face.
Couldn’t agree more Rio, that last episode was a disaster the writers really jumped the shark.
Pop singer Shakira is dating Barcelona football player Gerard Pique. Here’s edited together footage of the singer getting all excited/frustrated/angry/happy watching her boyfriend play in the Copa Del Rey final between Barcelona and Real Madrid this week. Do you think she knew she was being filmed?
Police in Glasgow this morning confirmed that they had made 30 arrests following the insanity which took place last night between the city’s two football teams. We spend our days sailing on the high seas so a sport like football, (soccer), is of little interest to us, its more for those crazy land lubbers. But last night’s Scottish Cup tie between Glasgow Rangers and Glasgow Celtic developed into a grand festival of shouting and pushing. Apparently there had been a game of football at one point but we had blinked and subsequently missed it.
Having watched many an old firm game from the safety of our moorings over the years this sort of behaviour comes as no surprise. In February when the ‘gruesome twosome’ played each other police in the city made 229 arrests. Most, if not all of the trouble is fuelled by alcohol and bigotry and having a group of well paid grown men behaving like petulant children who have just been told by their parents that they have no more time to play in the ball pit, does not help the situation.
Having said that we would just love to know what Rangers assistant manager, (and manger to be), Ally McCoist said to Celtic manager Neil Lennon at full time to make him go all shouty and pushy.
"You've got some crumbs on your top lip Alistair."
The original tackle
As you can see above the good and creative people of the Internet have been having some fun with Glasgow Rangers new signing El Hadji Diouf. The player recently found himself the target of some hefty physical challenges during an SPL game against Hearts. He himself over the years has carved out a bit of a reputation for himself as a total arsehole bit of a rascal.
The first GIF is the original tackle, what follows beneath is nothing short of genius. Chart a course for Something Awful for a whole load more.
HMS Friday 