We pride ourselves on the fact that we’re completely illiterate when it comes to religion. Now there’s a confession for you, especially at this time of year.
We’re pirates, what did you expect? If this means that we will end up in hell when we die then so be it, at least we’ll have Conan O’Brien to keep us company.
(via I Heart Chaos)
This Monday is of course…Ahem! Where you and your prospective partner celebrate the fact that you’re both head over heels in…Ahem! Even thinking about the whole sordid affair has made the entire crew here sick as sea dogs. But if you’re like us and enjoy revelling in the darker side of life without a single cute puppy dog or ice cream cone in sight then this special card may be for you. Based on that ‘torture porn’ movie Human Centipede which caused a bit of a stir last year, which we haven’t seen and have no real great desire to either.
It seems the Internet is awash with rather creepy, slightly twisted alternative valentines cards for sale this year. Below are a few of our personal favourites.
Because nothing spells out your love for someone than the icy cold steel of a razor sharp blade.
How could you resist that large polished helmet?
As stealthy as that?
Those pervy little care bears are at it again.
Don't do it Pepe, she's just a cat.
You can check out a whole load more via BuzzFeed.