Avast! Teaser Trailer For Total Recall.

When we first heard the news that Hollywood was re-making the Arnold Schwarzenegger sci-fi cult classic Total Recall we were intrigued to find out which direction they were going to take.

But then they announced the film, unlike the 1990 version, would not take place on Mars and that it wouldn’t bear much resemblance to Philip K Dick’s short story We Can Remember It For You Wholesale, which the whole plot basis of Total Recall is based upon and that Len Wiseman would be taking directorial charge, which set our alarm bells ringing because we aren’t fans of the Underworld movies and we postively hate Live Free Die Hard.

All that being said here’s a very limited sneak peak at what the rehashed version will look like which stars Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel, Bryan Cranston, Bill Nighy and Ethan Hawke, the plot of which rattles along like so:

Euroamerica (formerly United States) and New Shanghai (formerly China) fight for political power in the far Fascist future. A simple factory worker suffering from violent nightmares (Farrell) begins to suspect that he’s a spy whose memory and personality were erased and replaced — though he is unaware which side of the fight he’s on and how important his lost memories will be in its outcome. What matters to him the most is that he must team up with a young female freedom fighter (Biel) in order for both of them to change the political system in their own country, Euroamerica, which is currently controlled by Euroamerican President Vilos Cohaagen (Cranston) and his corrupt government.

Should’ve have renamed this movie Total Pish.

About the only similarity between the two movies.

 

 

Hollywood Hotties Do Humpilates.

Want to see Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Lindsay Lohan, Scarlet Johansson and Sofia Vergara hump Swizz exercise balls in tight lycra? Yeah, we though you might.

Here’s a seven minute long sketch which was featured on the Jimmy Kimmell Show right after last Sunday’s Oscars entitled The Hottie Body Hump Club. It takes a swipe at all those exercise and weight loss fads which people , (especially those in tinseltown), become obsessed with, while at the same time proving that some Hollywood stars are quite self effacing. Jesus that Justin Timberlake is one lucky bastard!