Avast! Trailer For Avengers: Age Of Ultron.

Here it is. After months of waiting we finally get our first glimpse of what the Avengers sequel will look like and judging by what’s on display in the trailer you may just soil yourself with unbridled joy.

There’s Quicksilver, ( a different one from X-Men: Days Of Future Past), the Scarlet Witch, a Hulkbuster and just listen to Ultron’s dulcet tones courtesy of James Spader, (The Blacklist). The main plot of Avengers: Age Of Ultron rattles along like so:

With S.H.I.E.L.D. destroyed and the Avengers needing a hiatus from stopping threats, Tony Stark attempts to jumpstart a dormant peacekeeping program with Ultron, a self-aware, self-teaching, artificial intelligence. However, his plan backfires when Ultron decides that humans are the main enemy and sets out to eradicate them from Earth, and it is up to Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, the Hulk, Black Widow and Hawkeye, along with support from Nick Fury and Maria Hill, to stop him from enacting his plans. Along the way, the Avengers encounter the powerful twins, Pietro and Wanda Maximoff, as well as the familiar Vision.

Avengers: Age Of Ultron is scheduled for releason on May1st, 2015.

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Avast! Official Trailer For Avengers Assemble.

Yes, they’ve changed the name for the benefit of UK audiences. Apparently keeping the original title The Avengers would cause much confusion throughout Great Britain, with many people so puzzled that this film wasn’t about John Steed or a lycra clad Emma Peel, that they’d be forced to put down their china tea cups.

This official trailer gives you a look at Joss Whedon’s vision of a modern day take on the super hero alliance of The Avengers, starring Robert Downey Jnr as Iron Man, Chris Evans as Captain America, Mark Ruffalo as The Incredible Hulk, Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow, Chris Hemsworth as Thor and Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye. The plot rattles along like so:

Pew, pew, pew, zooooom, baaabaaabooooomm, thwunk, bang, bang, bang clank, click, puh-puh-puh, gazooks, tch, tch, tch.

Avast! Trailer For Cabin In The Woods.

Before Joss Whedon, the man behind Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Dollhouse and Firefly, unleashes his vision of Marvel Comics The Avengers on us later next year there is the small matter of the release of his directorial debut movie Cabin In The Woods.

There has been a lot of buzz about this film over the Internet and rightly so as it looks, from the trailer at least, to be more than just your standard, vanilla flavoured hack n’ slash. Starring Chris Hemsworth Jesse Williams, Kristen Connolly, Anna Hutchison and Fran Kranz it tells the story of  five friends who embark upon a quiet, relaxing country break complete with cabin retreat but it’s not long before the group realise something is amiss and that the history surrounding their chosen holiday location is far more horrifying than they can possibly imagine.

Is it just us or has Whedon deliberately put together a Mystery Inc style team from the Scooby-Doo cartoons. Just look at Fran Kanz’s character again and tell us that’s not meant to be Shaggy.

Zoinks!

Avast! Trailer For The Avengers.

The first official trailer for the superhero nerd-fest The Avengers was released yesterday and as party bag after party bag of Doritos were dropped in basement floors the orgasmic moans of millions of overweight, single men were heard across the globe.

The Avengers is the movie Marvel Studios has been working towards for some time now, giving each superhero in their franchise their own respective outing before joing them together in one massive spandex orgy. Directed by Joss Whedon, (Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Dollhouse, Firefly), it stars Robert Downey Jr, (Ironman), Chris Evans, (Captain America), Chris Hemsworth, (Thor), Tom Hiddleston, (Loki), who appears to be the villian, Samuel Jackson, (Nick Fury), Mark Ruffalo, (The Incredible Hulk), Scarlett Johansson, (Black Widow) and Jeremy Renner, (Hawkeye).

The Plot couldn’t be any simpler, earth is threatened by an alien force, Nick Fury pulls together a team of superheros to save the planet, (not quite sure where Johansson and Renner’s characters fit in here, one can do martial arts in a catsuit and the other can fire arrows really well?). We will say this the only two things that can save this movie from turning into an enormous over-bloated cheese puff are Joss Whedon’s direction and Robert Downey Jnr’s charisma.

The Avengers is released in May of next year.

I have had it with these motherfucking actors in motherfucking spandex!