Let’s get this out of the way before we even start. We are unapologetic fans of the actor Keanu Reeves. Yes, he may at times appear wooden and somewhat out of place in movies but the man does have a certain charisma. Recently the actor has appeared on the internet as a somewhat ‘sad’ person, an individual burdened with great tragedy, largely due to a picture, (below), which emerged of him contemplating a sandwich. Of course the internet had some fun with the image and so the rumour of the actor’s unhappiness began to spread. Bearing all this in mind and knowing full well that one captured image of a person doesn’t accurately portray everything about them as a human being, you obviously wouldn’t ask the man in person if he was actually sad. That would be a little too personal a question to pose, nor would you then continue to ask Keanu how he feels about being portrayed as a sad character on the internet because that would just make your whole encounter with the actor uncomfortable and awkward. Unless of course you work for the BBC, in that case it’s fucking open season on Mr Reeves and you can make things as uncomfortable as you like by poking and proding his inner psyche like it were an Eastern European porn star.

N.B. The squirming begins at 3.15.

“Have you heard what they’re saying about you on the internet Keanu? They’re saying you’re sad. They’re saying you aren’t happy and that you look like a very tragic person? How do you feel about that Keanu? What’s it like to be a person who other people view as being sad? What’s that like? What does that feel like? Can you explain how that makes you feel? On a scale of one to ten Keanu how sad would you say you are? Really? Because people on the internet are saying you’re easily a ten. Must be uncomfortable for you talk about such a subject live on TV in front of millions of viewers? What’s that like? What does that feel like? Can you explain how that makes you feel? On a scale of one to ten Keanu how uncomfortable would you say you are right now on live TV in front of millions of viewers, talking about how sad other people see you? Keanu? Keanu?