http://player.soundcloud.com/player.swf?url=http%3A%2F%2Fapi.soundcloud.com%2Fplaylists%2F1215453 Lulu (30-second Samples) by Lou Reed & Metallica

We used to love Metallica, emphasis on ‘used‘. This new collaborative album they’ve produced with warbler Lou Reed is, in our own humble opinion, the equivalent of having battery acid poured into your ear holes and then having them raped by Charlie Sheen. We can categorically say we haven’t had the displeasure of listening to such pretentious bollocks since Lars Ulrich first formed a sentence.

Here’s a collection of 30 second audio sample clips from the new album which sounds like your drunk 58 year Uncle singing at your wedding. The second track on this sample board, (The View), is in it’s entirety. Lulu contains songs composed for a play called of the same name—a theatrical production of two plays originally written by the German playwright Frank Wedekind.

Brown Thunder would have been a much better title for this album.