Ever wondered what Disney Pixar’s movie Up would have looked like if Michael ‘I love big explosions‘ Bay had been the director?
Well wonder no more, thanks to the creative genius of YouTuber Mr Stratman 7, you can finally see what you missed out on.
Here’s your first official look at the Michael Bay produced movie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. There’s been a fair amount of fanboy dread over this reboot but then the film is about four oversized mutant talking turtles who eat pizza and fight crime.
Swashbuckling director and manly scarecrow Michael Bay recently suffered a bit of a meltdown during Samsung’s CES conference in Las Vegas. America’s answer to Peter Stringfellow was due to explain to the gawping public just how amazingly amazing Samsung’s new TV is, apparently it has some sort of curve and is really big and their hope is that viewers will actually think they are in the movie they are watching, when in reality there just sitting on their couch in their underpants, gently sobbing into their bowl of stale cereal.
As you can see from the video above Bay loses track of what he’s saying very quickly, (like I did when he mentioned that he creates ‘visual worlds so beyond everyone’s normal life experiences‘), he blames the telepromoter for his hiccup, but the visual explosions and scantily clad women which continually inhabit the great man’s head prevented his brain from producing speaky words and so he strides off stage.
Later after he had slain twelve personal assitants Bay combed his mane back into place and penned this brief explanation:
Wow! I just embarrassed myself at CES – I was about to speak for Samsung for this awesome Curved 105-inch UHD TV. I rarely lend my name to any products, but this one is just stellar. I got so excited to talk, that I skipped over the Exec VP’s intro line and then the teleprompter got lost. Then the prompter went up and down – then I walked off. I guess live shows aren’t my thing.
But I’m doing a special curved screen experience with Samsung and Transformers 4 footage that will be traveling around the world.
In the words of a great, dead man: ‘You done fucked up.‘ How’s that for a normal life experience Michael?
Here’s the first official trailer and look at the new Michael Bay produced pirate TV series called Black Sails.
It begins in January and will be shown on the American Starz channel, but no word yet which UK channel will pick it up over here. Apparently work has already begun on a commissioned second series. Black Sails focuses on Captain Flint 20 years before the events of Traesure Island take place and will be set in New Providence a corner of the world described by series creators as a haven of pirates, thieves, prostitutes and fortune seekers….much like Los Angeles.
Here’s the sweary trailer for Michael Bay’s new movie Pain & Gain, starring Mark Wahlberg and The Rock.
It looks like Bay is trying really hard to do a Coen Brothers movie but with added strippers and explosions. The movie claims to be based on a true story. The reality of this claim is the real story is far more dark and disturbing than this laugh-fest caper would suggest and involved three men known as the Sun Gym Gang. You can read the whole sordid story HERE.
‘I’m Hot! I’m big.’
Oh body builders, what are you like? Here’s the trailer for Michael Bay’s testosterone fuelled movie loosely based on a true story, starring The Rock and Mark ‘I used to beat up defenceless grocery store owners in my youth’ Wahlberg.
By ‘loosely based’ they probably mean the end credits have more accuracy.
This, unfortunately, isn’t a paparazzi snap of Hollywood action star The Rock relaxing in his backyard using his barbecue. It’s a publicity shot featuring Dwayne Johnson on the set of his latest film Pain & Gain.
Directed by Michael Bay the movie also stars Mark Wahlberg and is based on an 11 year-old newspaper article in the Miami New Times about two steriod abusing bodybuilders who had turned to crime and ended up involving themselves in an extortion ring and kidnapping plot which all ended rather messily.
Of course the movie is taking a black comedy route with Rob Corddry, (Hot Tub Time Machine, Cedar Rapids), and Ken Joeng, (The Hangover, Community), no doubt propping up the laughs department.
(via Geeks Of Doom)
The opening credit reads: ‘A trailer through the eyes of Michael Bay.’ WTF? Does this mean that while we’re watching this trailer we’re actually inside movie director Michael Bay’s head, watching the same trailer that he’s watching only he has no idea we’re watching the same trailer while we’re all crammed inside of his head? And cue sound effect.
This is in fact the
commercial advert for the soon to be released game Need For Speed: The Run, where players have to race from San Francisco to New York to save their lives, or win a prize, or steal a kiss from a good looking girl or save Macaulay Culkin from a swarm of angry bees, who cares it’s just a driving game. You know if we hadn’t been informed before we saw this trailer that Michael Bay had directed it we would never have known…not even from stills like the ones below…never…nope…not in a million years…no way.
What else is there to say about the third installment in the Transformers franchise that hasn’t already been said? Directed by Michael Bay and starring once more Shia LaBeouf it comes with all the usual loud, over the top explosions, cliched dialogue, weak storyline, hammy acting and far fetched set pieces. But strangely even though we know it’s not good for us we want it, we want the entire thing, we want to eat every last piece of it up until our bellies are full with CGI robots and the destruction of planet earth.
Here’s the official synopsis of the film:
The Autobots, led by Optimus Prime, are back in action, taking on the evil Decepticons, who are determined to avenge their defeat in 2009’s Transformers Revenge of the Fallen. In this new movie, the Autobots and Decepticons become involved in a perilous space race between the U.S. and Russia, and once again human Sam Witwicky has to come to the aid of his robot friends. There’s new characters too, including a new villain in the form of Shockwave, a longtime “Transformers” character who rules Cybertron while the Autobots and Decepticons battle it out on Earth.
With Cowboys & Aliens set for general release this summer colossal nerds movie fans can now look ahead in feverish anticipation to a similar project which has just been given the green light by Sony Pictures.
*(Here’s hoping our first draft script of Ninjas vs Pirates vs Knights vs Vampires vs Werewolves vs Hoodies, will now be considered)*
Zombies Vs Robots will be a dynamic new film, based on a series of graphic novels, which tells the story of robots brought back from the future through a time travelling gateway created by scientists. They inadvertently bring with them an infection which wipes out the human race, turning most into blood thirsty zombies, except for one immune child. Realising that the infant is all of what remains of the human race the robots vow to protect the child until they figure out a way to clone the baby to reboot humanity. But zombies being zombies want brains and will stop at nothing to ensure the last living human is eaten. Cue a full scale war between Robots and Zombies.
By the way did we mention that Michael Bay is to direct? Yes, we too had the same reaction. (via Geeks Of Doom)