Operation Repo Is As Authentic As WWE.

We’ve never heard of this programme before, let alone viewed an entire episode of Operation Repo but now that we’ve watched the homoerotic carnage above we’ve become instant fans.

The level of authenticity portrayed in this scene puts Martin Scorsese to shame as our hero, Matt Burch, lays waste to not one but three scantily clad male opponents while wearing dungarees and sunglasses. Of course Operation Repo isn’t supposed to be real as it:

… consists of what are purported to be actual stories from repossession incidents; however, the show depicts scripted and dramatized re-enactments in which the cast recreates incidents using actors and staged action footage. There is a disclaimer at the beginning of the show which says: “The stories that are portrayed in this program are based on real events.

Here’s an idea, instead of wasting time and footage and employing the worst extras you could find, to recreate past confrontations and incidents which were never originally caught on camera why not go out and genuinely repossess cars, that way you can record authentic drama and lay claim to the mantle ‘reality television series‘. Just a thought.

Danny Mac Raps On Channel 4’s Coppers

(Warning: NSFW language)

Bit late to the online party with this video but we’ve only just finished watching Channel 4’s series Coppers, a fly-on-the-wall documentary featuring the day to day activities and experiences of police men and women across England.

One of the stand out moments in the series was the arrest and interview with heroin addict and career criminal Danny MacIntyre, a man who had 30 arrests to his name. Without any needed encouragement Danny was more than happy to recite a special poem he had written about his feelings towards the police, which you can watch above in all it’s tragic glory.

It’s since been reported that Danny died last month due to an overdose.

*wipes salty tears from eyes*

Meat Loaf May Be A Dick!

We try like hell not to post anything on the main deck related to reality television, especially when so-called celebrities are involved. But we couldn’t avoid this clip from the American version of Celebrity Apprentice involving a complete meltdown by rocker Meat Loaf, who is so incensed at Gary Busey that even his bitch tits look angry, (although the big man stays true to his word and doesn’t once mention Fight Club).

From what we can understand from this clip Meat Loaf turns into a bat from hell because he believes Gary Busey stole his paint, which he needs for some mundane task. A few minutes after threatening and accussing Gary a team member finds Meat’s bag with all his paints inside. Apology from meat? Not even a hint.

You know you really screwed the pooch when the sanest one in the room is Gary Busey.

Wagner 24/1 To Win!

And so a star is born.

First of all we don’t watch The X Factor. We hate the programme with an unbridled passion which ignites an uncontrollable urge to endlessly rant about how much we hate the f@cking programme. That aside, something special is happening this year which should be of interest to those of you who share a similar view.

As you will no doubt be aware there’s a certain contestant on this year’s show, 54 year-old Wagner, (pronounced Vagner), Fiuza – Carrilho, who’s causing quite a stir. Simply because he has the vocal talents of a drunk uncle at a wedding and for some reason has made it through to the final seven. Cowell’s, Cole’s and Minogue’s searing disdain for the man, who looks like the bastard son of Whiplash and Peter Stringfellow, is obvious as they continue to rip into him giving the man no credit for having the balls to just take to the stage, who let’s face it is doing the best he can to win himself the £1M record contract. It takes a real man to  effortlessly rape not one but three classic Beatles songs and still call it a performance.

But on Sunday night judge Cheryl Cole’s facade almost slipped and she nearly revealed to the nation her true hidden alien reptilian form by referring to a news article where Wagner had described her as a ‘girl from a council estate who was just very lucky’. Confronting the Brazilian about this Cheryl then proceeded to twist what the man had actually said to the journalist and turned what should have been a judgement on Wagner’s performance into yet another ego boosting issue about the royal Cole. Isn’t the Queen Of Chavs forever banging on about not believing what you read in the rags? Isn’t that what she blubbered to old arseface during her ‘highly personal’ interview before crying a river on his highly informed news shoulder?

Things are turning a little sour for The X Factor and with a massive fan base and swelling support, which seems to be coming from a student based collective coupled with those that despise the programme, for Wagner to win this series outright we are, for the first time, rooting for a contestant in a reality TV programme. We are aware this breaks the vow we made many years ago but if Wagner goes on to win this could herald the beginning of the end for The X Factor and that’s something we could really get behind.

If you fancy a flutter on the 54 year-old Brazilian to win this series of the programme then here is a list of his current odds with a variety of top bookmakers online:

Betfair – 24/1

Ladbrokes – 20/1

32 Red – 20/1

Totesport – 18/1

Paddy Power – 16/1

Bet 365 – 16/1

William Hill – 14/1

Crazy Chris Is Craaazy!


http://www.liveleak.com/e/bf0_1289745731

This is it, what you are about to watch is the beginning of the end for the human race. Television has succeeded in it’s mission of dumbing people down to the intelligence level of an amoeba. Reality based programmes coupled with panel driven talent shows dominate the airwaves and we are all suffering as a result. Well, we are at least. Here’s some footage of the German equivalent of Britain’s Got Talent, (Das Supertalent 2010), featuring Chris ‘Crazy Chris’ Lynam from London who strips down naked on stage, places  a firework in his derriere and lights it, all because he can.

Look at Chris...he's craaaazy!

Look at Chris...he's craaazy!

The fact that this is barely an act in itself and more like something your drunken mate would do in his own front room after drinking too much industrial strength cider, isn’t what depresses us, it’s the way the whole piece is edited for TV. Jump cut after jump cut, slow-motion close ups of unknown celebrity judges open mouthed in disgust, repeated footage from different angles and over the top music all play in a vain attempt to crank up the tension, all for a naked mental case on stage with a lit firework in his hole. You know, Mike Judge was right.


http://s7.addthis.com/js/250/addthis_widget.js#username=hmsfriday

The Talent Vacuum Continues.

To say that the crew here at HMS Friday thoroughly despise reality television, so much so that if it were a person we would gladly drag it screaming out by it’s heels into a car park and force it to endure some form of blunt force trauma,  would be something of an understatement. Apparently some pop singer who won, or came a runner-up or appeared for a brief while on The X Factor some time ago made a re-appearance recently to sing and ultimately promote her new single. Diana Vickers performed an absolute car crash of a song entitled My Wicked Fart Heart which, in our own humble opinion, was so ear rapingly bad we had no idea the song actually had lyrics, until some kind person decided to post up the subtitles to her, (in loose brackets), performance. Hey Vickers nice plagiarism on the chorus from the Red Hot Chili Peppers.