Reality TV Person In Overinflated Ego Shocker.

via Gawker

Right here’s the abbreviated version of this over-long, unnecessary story about a bloke called Phillip ‘Phil’ Penny who appears on the Irish version of Geordie Shore, (yes, there’s even an Irish version), which is hilariously entitled Tallafornia. Why should this story be even remotely engaging? Well Phil has gone and blown a gasket after a picture featuring  himself posing with a supposed fan was posted up on Facebook.

The reason for Phil’s upset can be seen above and is quite obviously a set-up to prank the TV person, which then led to him responding in the manner suited only to somebody who is egotistical enough to appear on such a show, with threats of legal action. That’s when the Internet stepped in and spread the pic around the information superhighway like Nutella on toast, stirring up the anger sharks in Phil’s head even more:

via Facebook

via Facebook

Of course I think you’d join me in agreeing that the real crime here isn’t the prank picture, but instead Phil’s lack of basic grammar. Here’s the young man in an excerpt from Tallafornia with another reality TV star, from Geordie Shore, who I can’t even be arsed to look up, discussing ‘how many birds they’ve banged‘. Stay classy

 

Operation Repo Is As Authentic As WWE.

We’ve never heard of this programme before, let alone viewed an entire episode of Operation Repo but now that we’ve watched the homoerotic carnage above we’ve become instant fans.

The level of authenticity portrayed in this scene puts Martin Scorsese to shame as our hero, Matt Burch, lays waste to not one but three scantily clad male opponents while wearing dungarees and sunglasses. Of course Operation Repo isn’t supposed to be real as it:

… consists of what are purported to be actual stories from repossession incidents; however, the show depicts scripted and dramatized re-enactments in which the cast recreates incidents using actors and staged action footage. There is a disclaimer at the beginning of the show which says: “The stories that are portrayed in this program are based on real events.

Here’s an idea, instead of wasting time and footage and employing the worst extras you could find, to recreate past confrontations and incidents which were never originally caught on camera why not go out and genuinely repossess cars, that way you can record authentic drama and lay claim to the mantle ‘reality television series‘. Just a thought.

Joan Rivers Got Baked On TV.

 

In our humble opinion Joan Rivers is a legend and following her latest episode on the reality TV series ‘Joan & Melissa‘ she just became a super uber legend.

Wanting to investigate the weed scene Joan and her friend Lynne picked up some medicinal marijuana and a bong, they then pulled the car they were driving into a secluded layby and just like a couple of college students blazed up, phoned for help and suffered an attack of the munchies.

Yes most of this looks staged but hats off to Joan for even including a segment like this on a soulless reality TV programme

Watch Last Night’s Epsiode Of Big, Fat, Gypsy Wedding Here.

"Ah I see you've come in the dress from Eddie Murphy's hit movie Coming To America."

Yes last night we went back on our promise of never watching reality TV but in our defence Channel Four’s Big, Fat, Gypsy Wedding was more of a traditional documentary. What is there to say about this series which probably hasn’t already been said? Travelling people, who refuse to pay tax or integrate with local communities, enforce stringent and sexist rules on their women who are ‘grabbed’  if they’re single and physically forced to become intimate with their male counterparts, regardless of their age. Last night’s episode dealt with a gypsy girl’s communion whose outfit was based on a dress from the Eddie Murphy film Coming To America, (can’t write that shit), and the wedding of 17 year-old Josie which looked like a Christina Aguilera music video. As a good friend of ours often laments this is true ‘car crash’ TV which must be watched with the use of a seat belt buckled into your chair. Don’t worry if you missed it because we’ve posted the entire episode below thanks to 4 On Demand.

Five Amazing TV Shows We Brits Don’t Know About.

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH! That’s the collective sound of the crew of HMS Friday letting off some frustrated steam on deck, because once more our TV channels this winter are clogged up with property evaluations, failed attempts at losing weight, wanting to look ten years younger, please vote for me on this talent contest, listen to how I sing don’t I look great, look at how I’m dancing don’t I look great, there are spiders in my hair but don’t I still look great based programmes, which suck the very f@cking soul from our seafaring bodies. There exists an enormous lack of reasonable, decent, engaging programmes on British TV for people who would love to actually look forward to something on their box which didn’t feature a cast of no-mark, no-name, self appointed celebrities jostling for attention.

Just to accentuate our point and prove that we Brits are pretty hard done by in the TV entertainment stakes we’ve put together a list of five shining examples of quality programmes we are missing out on. Five fantastic shows that you’ve probably never heard of and know nothing about becasue they’ve either been hidden away from view or ignored completley.

1.Breaking Bad

Yes, we are fully aware seasons one and two were actually shown in Britain but they were broadcast on FX a channel not everyone in this country has and the second series was aired at stupid o’clock in the morning on Five US. Considering the series is now entering it’s fourth season with 33 episodes under it’s belt along with six Emmy awards it’s about time a mainstream channel picked it up and gave it a reasonable time slot.

Concept – Chemistry teacher finds out he has inoperable lung cancer, to provide extra cash for his family he starts to make and sell crystal meth, with help from an ex-student turned drug dealer. Both are sent sprawling over the line into a life of crime. One of the darkest and most engaging programmes in TV history.

2. Bored To Death

To our knowledge this has never been aired in the UK and is now about to enter into it’s third season.

Concept – Jonathan Ames, played by Jason Schwartzman, is a struggling novelist who has read a ton of cheap detective novels, so when his girlfriend leaves him he advertises his services on a website as an unlicensed private detective and starts taking on cases. Accompanying him is best friend and comic book artist Ray Hueston, played by Zach Galifianakis, who also suffers from various psychological issues and George Christopher, played by Ted Danson, Jonathan’s boss who also happens to be addicted to alcohol, cannabis and sex. Hilarity ensues.

3. Terriers

First season has finished in the States and so far there are no plans to air it over here in Britain.

Concept – Ex-cop and recovering alcoholic Hank Dolworth, played by Donal Logue, (Blade), sets up yet another unlicensed private detective agency with help from friend and former criminal Brit Pollack, played by Michael Raymond-James, (True Blood)  investigating cases in and around Ocean Beach, the beach front neighbourhood of San Diego. It’s from the creator of The Shield what more of a recommendation do you need?

4. Community

Now in it’s second season Community did air here in the UK on October 5th hidden away on Viva, yes there is actually a channel called Viva. No plans as of yet to show the second season.

Concept – A suspended lawyer, played by Joel McHale, has to attend community college after his degree is found to be invalid by the bar association. While attending college he meets a collection of misfit students at a Spainsh study group. The series plays heavily on movie parodies and references. Think Spaced with a touch of Glee. Plus Chevy Chase is in it, what more do you people want?

5. Party Down

Ah, the best to last. The crew here at HMS Friday have been lucky enough to watch the entire first season of this hilarious series…through purely legitimate methods of course, (ahem!). Unfortunately only two seasons were made and to date neither have been shown on British TV.

Concept – A group of somewhat unfortunate aspiring actors and writers in Hollywood fill their days earning a crust working for an event catering company. Dreaming of one day making it big they drift from one party to the next meeting and sometimes clashing with guests and clients along the way. Seek this series out if you can.

Wagner 24/1 To Win!

And so a star is born.

First of all we don’t watch The X Factor. We hate the programme with an unbridled passion which ignites an uncontrollable urge to endlessly rant about how much we hate the f@cking programme. That aside, something special is happening this year which should be of interest to those of you who share a similar view.

As you will no doubt be aware there’s a certain contestant on this year’s show, 54 year-old Wagner, (pronounced Vagner), Fiuza – Carrilho, who’s causing quite a stir. Simply because he has the vocal talents of a drunk uncle at a wedding and for some reason has made it through to the final seven. Cowell’s, Cole’s and Minogue’s searing disdain for the man, who looks like the bastard son of Whiplash and Peter Stringfellow, is obvious as they continue to rip into him giving the man no credit for having the balls to just take to the stage, who let’s face it is doing the best he can to win himself the £1M record contract. It takes a real man to  effortlessly rape not one but three classic Beatles songs and still call it a performance.

But on Sunday night judge Cheryl Cole’s facade almost slipped and she nearly revealed to the nation her true hidden alien reptilian form by referring to a news article where Wagner had described her as a ‘girl from a council estate who was just very lucky’. Confronting the Brazilian about this Cheryl then proceeded to twist what the man had actually said to the journalist and turned what should have been a judgement on Wagner’s performance into yet another ego boosting issue about the royal Cole. Isn’t the Queen Of Chavs forever banging on about not believing what you read in the rags? Isn’t that what she blubbered to old arseface during her ‘highly personal’ interview before crying a river on his highly informed news shoulder?

Things are turning a little sour for The X Factor and with a massive fan base and swelling support, which seems to be coming from a student based collective coupled with those that despise the programme, for Wagner to win this series outright we are, for the first time, rooting for a contestant in a reality TV programme. We are aware this breaks the vow we made many years ago but if Wagner goes on to win this could herald the beginning of the end for The X Factor and that’s something we could really get behind.

If you fancy a flutter on the 54 year-old Brazilian to win this series of the programme then here is a list of his current odds with a variety of top bookmakers online:

Betfair – 24/1

Ladbrokes – 20/1

32 Red – 20/1

Totesport – 18/1

Paddy Power – 16/1

Bet 365 – 16/1

William Hill – 14/1