Avast! Trailer For Conan The Barbarian.

Nope not the 1982 version starring Ahhhnold but the newest adaptation of Robert E. Howard’s most famous character.

Apparently it’s claimed that this movie is staying far more faithful to Howard’s original rendition of the muscle bound, shirtless, sword swinging Cimmerian hero from his books, as virtual unknown Jason Momoa, (Game Of Thrones, Stargate Atlantis), steps in to fill the role alongside Ron Pearlman, (Hellboy, Sons Of Anarchy), Rose McGowan, (Scream, Machete), Stephen Lang, (Avatar, Public Enemies), and ex-American football player/kick-boxer/wrestler Bob Sapp.

The official sysnopsis of the film states:

After his father is murdered and village destroyed, Conan ventures into an unforgiving world where he survives as a thief, pirate, and warrior. On his path of wanton adventure and women, Conan chances upon the warlord responsible for his tribe’s destruction. As he tracks Khalar Zym, Conan battles monsters, Zym’s henchmen, and Marique, a powerful witch.

‘…wanton adventure and women’, what more could a scantily clad man ask for in life?

Avast! Trailer For Bunraku.

Here’s the trailer for a film called Bunraku which appears to be the ugly bastard child of Kill Bill and Sin City. Starring Josh Hartnett, Ron Pearlman, Demi Moore, Kevin McKidd and Woody Harrelson this movie looks like it was shot in someones garage with a budget taken from a jumble sale. We’ve actually seen far better and more interesting fan films over the past few months than this papier-mâché horseshit.

But what about the plot for the film? A film doesn’t have to look good to be good: ‘In a world with no guns, a mysterious drifter, a bartender and a young samurai plot revenge against a ruthless leader and his army of thugs, headed by nine diverse and deadly assassins.’

Oh dear.

In his heart Josh knew he had just lost the dance off.

Avast! Season Of The Witch Trailer.

Amid the rising chorus of choir singers a character turns to Nicolas Cage and announces ‘we’re going to need a bigger boat more holy water’.Yes, Hellboy and Ghost Rider go back in time, like way back to when folks rode on horses and shit, to kick some evil witch ass! There’s something strangely appealing about this trailer and if Cage keeps his mugging down to a believable minimum then this film may be worth a watch. They should’ve called it Witch Bitch.

N.B. The Scott’s Porage Oats dude is in this film. What’s not to like about porridge. And it’s spelt Porridge by the way!