Moronic Scottish Politician Claims Russia Is Invading Scotland.

It’s healthy and downright sensible to disbelieve pretty much every word a politician vomits up, especially if you live in Britain, or more specifically Scotland.

Yesterday in Westminster there was a debate about the renewal of Trident on the River Clyde, a process which is going to cost the tax payer a princely sum of £100b. As those for and against argued and debated Labour MP Brian Donohoe made the startling claim that Russian submarines were currently sailing up the Clyde.

That’s right, according to Donohoe those sneaky Russians under the orders of Putin himself were invading Scotland and he was the only man in the country who knew about it. Of course a quick cursory glance out of my window, which looks over the Clyde, confirmed that he was in fact talking a power of absolute shite…it was the North Koreans!


Groundskeeper Willie On Scotland’s Referendum.

Apologies for the radio silence of late but there’s been a lot going on in my country recently and the distractions have been aplenty.

Taking a little time out from the seriousness and historical weight of the Scottish referendum here’s Groundskeeper Willie’s message to Scotland regarding the forthcoming vote.

Scottish Flags Deemed ‘Offensive’ For Fire Engines.

This is one of those stories you need to re-read just to make sure it’s authentic.

The Daily Record is today reporting that a recent complaint was made to Aberdeen fire chiefs regarding the vinyl based Saltire flags which were stuck onto the front of two of their fire engines.

They were placed on the new vehicles to mark the merger of Scotland’s eight brigades into one, but the mere sight of the St Andrew’s cross on the fire engines enraged one member of public so much that he/she made a formal complaint and they were duly removed. It’s thought that the complaint was politically motivated as it’s been suggested that the person, (with far too much spare time on their hands), saw the flags as being a sign of ‘pro-independence’.

Really? The St Andrew’s cross is now offensive to people? Shall it now too find it’s way into the same bracket of offensive flags such as the Swastika, Confederate or White Power flags?

To read the entire story chart a course for The Daily Record.


Labour Leader Iain Gray Is An Agent Of Danger.

We hate all political parties and politicians equally aboard our good vessel, so imagine our delight at the footage above as one of the biggest, most inept  leaders to ever grace the political stage in Scotland served us up a healthy slice of schadenfreude.

In a scene straight out of political satire series The Thick Of It Scottish Labour Leader and Quagmire look-alike Iain Gray bolted from Glasgow’s Central Station on foot this week from protesters angry about the possibility of job cuts. After a short chase through the city’s Union Street Gray took refuge in a nearby Subway sandwich outlet where he quickly became trapped.

Gray and his entourage were to stage a ‘meet the people‘ event, in the run up to the Scottish parliamentary elections on May 5th, at Central Station but a handful of protesters showed up to challenge the leader who decided that the best course of action would be to sidle slowly to one side before legging it. The man who famously ‘walked the killing fields of Cambodia, single handedly stormed the Libyan embassy in London in 84’ armed only with an industrial stapler and led the invasion of Iraq shirtless and on horseback, quickly found himself trapped in a sandwich shop which had no back door.

We can only imagine the ear roasting this tit had to take from Malcolm Tucker back at pary HQ.

Giggity and indeed giggity.