Joss Whedon Will Direct S.H.I.E.L.D. The TV Series.

It was announced a few weeks back that Avengers director Joss Wedon was in negotiations to produce a TV series for ABC, based on a Marvel property, following his confirmation that he’ll be writing and directing a sequel to the hugely successful Avengers movie. For a while I was convinced he was going to remake The Incredible Hulk for the small screen but apparently Guillermo del Toro already has that TV series in-development,¬†instead it appears that Whedon will be bringing S.H.I.E.L.D. (Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division) to living rooms across the globe.

For anyone unfamiliar with S.H.I.E.L.D. (don’t feel too bad because you’ve probably had sex with an actual lady), it’s basically¬†a military law enforcement agency and peacekeeping group spearheaded by Nick Fury, who was played by Samuel L. Jackson in the Marvel movies. The organisation was responsible for bring the Avengers together but apart from these very basic details little else is known about the planned TV series. There is of course hope that the brilliant Gregg Clark, who plays Agent Phil Coulson in the Marvel movies, will have a primary role and there’s no confirmation if Jackson will resume his role as Nick Fury for the small screen.

Avast! Trailer For The Avengers.

The first official trailer for the superhero nerd-fest The Avengers was released yesterday and as party bag after party bag of Doritos were dropped in basement floors the orgasmic moans of millions of overweight, single men were heard across the globe.

The Avengers is the movie Marvel Studios has been working towards for some time now, giving each superhero in their franchise their own respective outing before joing them together in one massive spandex orgy. Directed by Joss Whedon, (Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Dollhouse, Firefly), it stars Robert Downey Jr, (Ironman), Chris Evans, (Captain America), Chris Hemsworth, (Thor), Tom Hiddleston, (Loki), who appears to be the villian, Samuel Jackson, (Nick Fury), Mark Ruffalo, (The Incredible Hulk), Scarlett Johansson, (Black Widow) and Jeremy Renner, (Hawkeye).

The Plot couldn’t be any simpler, earth is threatened by an alien force, Nick Fury pulls together a team of superheros to save the planet, (not quite sure where Johansson and Renner’s characters fit in here, one can do martial arts in a catsuit and the other can fire arrows really well?). We will say this the only two things that can save this movie from turning into an enormous over-bloated cheese puff are Joss Whedon’s direction and Robert Downey Jnr’s charisma.

The Avengers is released in May of next year.

I have had it with these motherfucking actors in motherfucking spandex!