Avast! Trailer for The Bay.

Excuse me a second.

*sits down on leather wing back chair, adjusts smoking jacket and lights up Dr Plumb Classic Bent Briar pipe*

Far be it for me to criticise the current state of modern cinema but recently it feels like a deluge of tawdry films, which only a few years ago would have found themselves in the bargain bin at Woolworths, have been released nationwide. It seems these films run on a cultivated checklist rather than pure imagination and ingenuity and judging from the trailer above for Barry Levinson’s, (Good Morning, Vietnam, Rain Man), new film The Bay it looks like someone’s been busy ticking boxes.

Zombies? Check.

Unknown parasites? Check.

Viral outbreak? Check.

Found footage? Check.

The only thing missing from this film is a flying CGI Great White Shark in a cape.