Film director Guillermo del Toro, (Hellboy, Pan’s Labyrinth), is a busy, busy man with a multitude of projects in the piepline including a new Frankenstein film and an adaptation of Kurt Vonnegut’s iconic novel Slaughterhouse 5. So it’s amazing he finds the time to direct other films such as Crimson Peak, starring Mia Wasikowska, (Alice In Wonderland), and Tom Hiddlestone, (Avengers Assemble).
The plot of del Toro’s latest movie rattles along like so:
In the aftermath of a family tragedy, an aspiring author is torn between love for her childhood friend and the temptation of a mysterious outsider. Trying to escape the ghosts of her past, she is swept away to a house that breathes, bleeds…and remembers.
Crimson Peak is scheduled for release on October 16th
The first official trailer for the superhero nerd-fest The Avengers was released yesterday and as party bag after party bag of Doritos were dropped in basement floors the orgasmic moans of millions of overweight, single men were heard across the globe.
The Avengers is the movie Marvel Studios has been working towards for some time now, giving each superhero in their franchise their own respective outing before joing them together in one massive spandex orgy. Directed by Joss Whedon, (Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Dollhouse, Firefly), it stars Robert Downey Jr, (Ironman), Chris Evans, (Captain America), Chris Hemsworth, (Thor), Tom Hiddleston, (Loki), who appears to be the villian, Samuel Jackson, (Nick Fury), Mark Ruffalo, (The Incredible Hulk), Scarlett Johansson, (Black Widow) and Jeremy Renner, (Hawkeye).
The Plot couldn’t be any simpler, earth is threatened by an alien force, Nick Fury pulls together a team of superheros to save the planet, (not quite sure where Johansson and Renner’s characters fit in here, one can do martial arts in a catsuit and the other can fire arrows really well?). We will say this the only two things that can save this movie from turning into an enormous over-bloated cheese puff are Joss Whedon’s direction and Robert Downey Jnr’s charisma.
The Avengers is released in May of next year.
I have had it with these motherfucking actors in motherfucking spandex!