...and here's two I stole earlier.

At least that’s what the rotund TV celebrity chef has been telling every tabloid newspaper in the UK.

As if the imminent collapse of the Euro or the threat of war between America and Iran wasn’t enough for us to worry about, up pops Antony Worrall Thompson and his ‘shoplifting addiction nightmare.’ Most of the papers actually credit some sympathy towards the man, allowing him to do what every vaguely famous person with money in the bank is uniquely permitted to do by the tabloid press; set the record straight. In an article featured in the Daily Fail he explains:

‘It was like a dream or a nightmare. I went back to the office with them and I’d taken a newspaper, three onions and a sandwich that time. I was just thinking over and over, ‘Why, why, why, are you taking three onions?’ I’d taken £6 of stuff and the rest of the bill came to about £30.’

Why Antony you were simply gathering all the necessary ingredients to make Newswich Soup. Lucky he didn’t nick all that stuff back in August during the London riots as he could’ve ended up with a four year prison sentence….ppfffftttt, who are we kidding he’s a Z-list celebrity with a double barrelled name. Class system? In this country? Do us a favour.